Hi, I have been Christian since 2005; it’s been a rocky road to say the least. Been Catholic since 2010, although I’m still baptised in the Anglican 
. My heart has always been Catholic, I must add. I feel like God has left me to be affected or even killed, by the Devil. I have spoken to the Devil, seen Angels & Demons, also. Now I am left to fight my own corner, or that’s how I perceive things. Satan spoke to me in my back garden, in August 2006; I went insane following the interaction. There was a demon in psychiatric hospital who spoke to me in Angel language. God sent 3 Angels to rebuke me, after I spoke to Satan. 1 walked by me & 2 were walking ahead of me, from right to left; they also spoke in their language. Now, 20 years later, I feel abandoned by God, like there’s no hope for me. Can you help guide me please?
God absolutely never abandons anybody or rejects anybody. We reject or abandon God. And God would never send you angels to rebuke you or hurt you in any way. It sounds like mind binding demons trying to drive you to insanity. They do that to holy people to try to get them away from Jesus. You are a holy person, never forget that. You need to be re-grounded in God and trust Him. He never abandons or rejects anybody ever. That is what the demons are trying to make you think. If you have access to a parish maybe you can talk about this to a priest and they can give you a blessing/minor exorcism. Also never skip mass. The blood of Jesus will protect you like nothing else. Have your mind anointed by a priest. Pray the rosary daily and read psalms. Have a priest bless your house and items. This also sounds like witchcraft. Someone might have sent hexes/curses your way. That opens up a huge foothold for demons to come through and mess with you. I know because I am an ex-witch/pagan. You are clearly under spiritual warfare and the type of spirit messing with you I am almost certain is a mind binding demon. Try to get rid of any new age/occult/eastern or any non christian items in your household and get rid of all the items that the demons might be using as a foothold to gain entrance into your life. Pray to the Holy Spirit for discernment to see what these are and identify them. This never fails. I know because I went through the same.
Also buy or get some holy water (it is free in some places but in others it is not) and use it in your house and yourself. I am assuming you have access to the catholic church, forgive me if you do not
I agree with 99% of what you said, but God did send 3 Angels…
You can never be too sure of that. Demons have the ability to take any form that they want. It is known that they can even take the facade of Mary and even Jesus. God wouldn’t send you 3 angels to hurt you or rebuke you. God doesn’t rebuke his children. He embraces them.
Do not have conversations with the devil nor demons! The devil accuses and his goal is to lead you far away from the great Shepherd (Christ Jesus), Who is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6)!
Mother Teresa talked about a dark night of the soul, where she did not feel very close to God, but she never stopped trusting in Him.
The Bible encourages believers to persevere:
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” — James 1:12
“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9 (and 2 Thessalonians 3:13)
“Rejoice in [y]our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into [y]our heart(s) through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” — Romans 5:3-5
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” — 1 Chronicles 16:11
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in Prayer.” — Romans 12:12
“The one who endures to the end will be saved.” — Matthew 24:13
“May the Lord direct your heart(s) to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.” — 2 Thessalonians 3:5
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen. .
The very fact that you were still alive 20 years later, and feel bad about it means that God is not rejected you. He is giving you chances to turn to him. The devil likes to pick on weakness where he sees it. And if he can get a reaction out of you, then he’ll continue to torture you. The holy ones, the righteous really aren’t attacked that much. I don’t think because they have a strong soul fortified by the Holy Spirit to keep evil away from them. So pray as much as you can, ask help from the Holy Spirit pray the rosary every day and ask God to help you to understand him and understand what you need to do in this world because you can do nothing without him. Sin hurts others but it also Offends and saddens Jesus. Please whatever you do don’t think you can handle this on your own and keep all those thoughts that bombard your mind to yourself because that’s what Satan wants. He wants to isolate you so you won’t turn to God and this will cause you to be far away from God and sin even more. I did that and I’m in fear that I blasphemy because I woke up one day realizing how cold my heart had turned and that’s the last thing in the world Jesus wants. Also you can do the divine chaplet of Mercy. I will pray for you. Grace
Thank you all for your help, I have taken onboard all you guys have said. I don’t want to give in, but when demons blaspheme during prayer & even right in front of the vicar, I feel it’s unfair. God & me aren’t the best of friends all the time, because of this. I’m no Angel, in fact I have been a bit of a devil in the past. My mind was weakened by Satan that day in 2006 & it’s difficult to attend church a lot of the time. I don’t feel worthy of heaven & that’s a fact, but fear death & hell…