As a cradle Catholic, I have totally lost my faith in God as I have never received anything I prayed for. I am tired of waiting for my turn while others receive it unconditionally, and that includes other religions too.
So, Why be a Christian, let alone a Catholic, when your prayers are never answered, while people of other religions have their prayers answered by their god or gods?
God bless your heart, and thank you for allowing us to minister to you 
Sometimes in life, all one can see is grey and dull, and it can be hard to tell oneself that this is just a momentary situation that is not going to last forever. In Denmark we have the famous author HC Andersen who wrote the fairy tale of the snow queen and her mirror, which broke, and the pieces came into the eyes of people, so that suddenly everything they saw was ugly and deformed and depressing. But still there was a solution: The snow queen - H.C. Andersen
I want to leave it there for this post. Read the fairy tale, and see if it resonates.
I wouldn’t blame you if you took a break from mass and church all together. I doubt Jesus would hold it against you.
If you’re having a low experience then, why not mix things up? Try something new, try something else you find healthy and beneficial
Today I went to a mass and during SIGN OF PEACE half the young phony people standing around me snubbed me and didn’t say hi. I mean, how much snobbier can anybody get? And I dress nice and take good care of my appearance - so it’s not like I’m some gargoyle
Then I went to a social event afterwards and nobody said hi. There’s just so many problems sometimes and it extends into the ranks of leadership being phonies, too
Being Catholic doesn’t make you better than everyone else.
But sometimes… sometimes the light shines so brilliantly upon me. Sometimes the church is so beautiful and my generosity is received
But stop… there are some LAME Catholics. I swear there are Catholic who are so fake it’s enough for anybody to just say forget this
You know something else… if there weren’t lamos in leadership roles in my church the place would have a THOUSAND times more parishioners. I mean, lame leaders chase people away like you wouldn’t believe…
This reminds me of something the conservative satirist PJ O’Rourke wrote: Santa Claus is “cute. He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he’s famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.”
Since you have asked God for things He can give you, I suggest that you now ask what you can give Him. The Bible says it’s better to give than to receive.
Another suggestion: start a prayer journal. It doesn’t have to be a lot of words. It could even be like a Christmas list of everything you ask God for. My first wife (God rest her soul) and I had one. We misplaced it and forgot about it. When I found it again, I was surprised by how many requests had been answered, including some big ones: for example, some friends had only one child for a long time and they wanted more. When I found the prayer journal, our friends had three kids.
Another thing: when I was a volunteer hospital chaplain in training, I seemed unable to do it and was ready to give up. I had to get my attention off myself. Once I stopped focusing on myself and what kind of job I was doing as a chaplain, I was OK.
Finally, one guy I used to listen to on a Christian radio station used to say, “Find a burden and get under it”—that is, find someone who can use your help.
Thank you for your question. I’m sure you are not the only one who feels the way that you do.
I think your understanding of what it means to be Christian is skewed. Many have left the Church, because they didn’t “feel like they were being fed.” But, we should be asking, Lord, how have I not fed others? Even Mother Teresa described as a “dark night of the soul,” where she felt like God had abandoned her. And this went on for years, but she never stopped trusting Him.
Secondly, looking at others’ blessings and not being happy for them is also disordered. It falls under envy and coveting.
Being a Christian is about relationship, not about what we can get out of it. A relationship that simply takes and takes is not really a relationship at all. Christ gave of Himself fully and He gives us the grace to do likewise.
The life of a Christian is so much more than a relationship. It is the deepest form of relationship. A Covenant. Jesus compares His relationship with the church like that of a Husband and his bride. The Sacraments are like Marriage.
Why get Married? If it is just to get instant gratification, then you are getting Married for the wrong reasons.
Why be Catholic and not some other religion? Because all other religions is man’s search for God, but the Catholic Christian Faith is God’s search for man. God sent His Son (Jesus) to show us the way, the truth, and the life. Jesus founded a Church (The Catholic Church) and through her, salvific grace flows, so that we might have eternal life.
In this relationship, there is unity, intimacy, forgiveness, unconditional love, and life (the good and the bad, but we live it together).
Why Pray if my Prayers are never answered? Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask and it will be given to you…” Some interpret this to mean that God will give them whatever they ask for (like a magic genie), but this is not what this verse is saying. Let’s first look at how this chapter begins.
Now let’s look at what follows.
It all comes back to Covenant (God’s relationship with us). If you would like to read more about this, may I recommend Dr. Scott Hahn’s book titled, “A Father Who Keeps His Promises: God’s Covenant Love in Scripture.”
Have you ever heard that Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered Prayers”? It talks about how sometimes the unanswered Prayers are God’s greatest gifts. God gives us gifts that we cannot see, because we are focusing on what others have been gifted. If God gave us everything we wanted, then we would (A.) become like spoiled children and not be grateful for anything and (B.) God, our loving Father can see our lives outside of time and knows what is best for us, when we can only see what is right in front of us. Say we are driving down the road (of life) and there is an accident over the hill. God has a helicopter view of what’s ahead, so if we ask him to give us something that would make us go even faster over the hill and he gives us what we want, that would disasters. And if we don’t ask the man above anything at all, we will destroy ourselves on our own. We should be asking God to show us the way, for He sees even more than what is directly ahead in that time, but He knows what is in the past, present, and future. And He knows us.
I once had a non-Christian friends ask me to Pray that she would win a sports care give-away. I told her that I would Pray that God helps her find reliable transportation : ) It wasn’t what she had in mind, but I believe God knows what is best for her and had she won the sports car, I don’t know that she would have given God the glory, but might have been ungrateful (especially when the shine fades off). Or maybe she would have driven it above speeds that were safe and perhaps crashed it, injuring herself and/or others.
Go give that Garth Brooks song a listen or re-listen if you’ve heard it before : )
The fact that you write like this on this site, means that you are still looking for answers. Therefore there is still hope for you. Catholicism is perfect, in that Jesus provides the bottom line: “Thou shalt love the Lord , thy God with all of your heart.” And that is the perfect answer. But there are so many other questions that the Catholic Church doesn’t answer. If you want to consider answers that are provided by other lineages, write to me at peterishandas@gmail.com. Then you can consider, and direct your heart as you see fit.
I agree….why try to be a perfect person and try to live your faith the best way you can, and pray the best way you can and your prayers never get answered? I prayed for 16 years for a friend and never got one. Why would getting a friend not be in God’s will? I thought God wants us to be happy, so why am I not happy? All I wanted literally was one thing, a friend. The rest of the stuff I prayed for was for other people, but the only thing I wanted was a friend, and when I was a Catholic, that was one prayer that was never answered.
See, not a whole lot of people will talk about this, but it’s good to have dialogue about this kind of thing. I’m sure you try to be an outstanding person in this religion, and I admire you for that, cause at one point I was the same way. But, if God doesn’t want me to have any friends (which is seriously stupid, and a loving God wouldn’t want me to be alone), and it’s literally the only thing I wanted for 16 years for myself, and I never got it? People always told me that God answers prayers on His time not yours. Well…how much longer do I have to wait? 50 more years? 100 more years (which by that time I’d be dead)? I mean, at this point I’m just spinning my wheels. This is ridiculous….I have to wait longer than 16 years for a friend? Cause I guarantee that most people my age has at least one good friend. All I seem to make are acquaintances, not friends.
I hear ya….after a while, religion seems like one big clown show. I was a really good person and tried my absolute best to be the best person I could possibly be for 16 years, and you mean to tell me it is against God’s will for me to have a friend? Sorry but I call b.s. And ever since I’ve left that religion, I started making all sorts of friends. And, seeing as though I don’t believe in coincidence, it just shows that the Catholic Faith really wasn’t for me to begin with.
I said it once and I’ll say it again, religion can help people. I’m sure Catholicism and Christianity can help someone. But, 16 years is a long time, and I’m not getting any younger, nor am I making any friend anytime soon. So….I went and found the truth for myself, cause honestly, I can’t and won’t trust people, even if they say they’re a Priest, a Bishop, even the Pope. Everybody seems to have an agenda, and truth seems to fly out the door anymore. If finding the truth for myself makes me an evil person, then I’ll be the biggest villain to ever walk this Earth, cause I’m pretty sure that Catholicism isn’t the truth (at least in my eyes).
In response to your question, should you leave the faith? Well, follow your heart. What is your heart telling you? What is your spirit telling you?
Maybe it would be helpful to write down the good things you experienced being a Catholic, and the downfalls of being Catholic. That way you have a visual representation of how you feel about the faith. I’m not saying that doing this exercise will give you an answer, but sometimes it’s nice to have something in front of you that shows what you actually believe is going on. That’s something I had to do, I had to basically write down not just about Catholicism but other things I was a part of, I wrote down good and bad and that helped me in my decision making. But there’s a whole bunch of other factors that played a part in me leaving the Church, it wasn’t just 3 or 4 things, it was a whole list of stuff I questioned.
So, since your external is a reflection of your internal, I’ll ask you, should you leave the faith? What do you think?
I don’t know the answer to your question, but two things come to mind:
When someone asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” the answer can be summarized as be a neighbor. And a radio preacher I used to listen to a long time ago often said two things that I remember: “Walk with the King and be a blessing” and “Find a burden and get under it” (that is, look for someone who needs help and give help.
Eight years ago, when I was still working, my employer laid off hundreds of employees. I was one of those who was out of work. A friend said he would give my résumé to some people where he worked, but he couldn’t promise results. I answered that I would rather have one person trying to help than a hundred people telling me I would be fine.
Which is good advice, but keep in mind that I was born with a stutter and in high school I started going downhill with a mental disorder. So, having these 2 things have become real life barriers to getting to have friends.
Your God is all-knowing, and He knew I’d be born with a stutter and later on get a mental disorder. I’m sorry, and I know Catholics get a lot of flack, and I try not to harp on you people, but not having a friend for a good chunk of my life (again I’m 36 years old) really sucks. For the longest time I only had my family. And then, when I went and actually researched the truth, and now I lost support from my own family. And God knew all of this would happen, and that all of this would transpire.
You know, I get it. I got my just desserts through my own doing, and I have 12 years of Karma to pay back. But, Catholic’s don’t really believe in Karma, so my question to you is, what did I do to deserve this? Ok, yes, I was a terrible teenager. I did crazy things behind my Father’s back, and I wasn’t a little angel, but my brain also wasn’t fully developed. In fact my brain did a 180 and decided to not work properly in high school. I’ve never committed a crime in my life, and when my Father hit me at 25, and this happened several times, I never hit him back. But yet, here I am.
Where was your God? He can be everywhere at once, but not once did I see him ever intervene. I just wanted a friend…that’s all I wanted. You cannot look at me and tell me that God didn’t desire a friend with me. Even in The Bible it says “No man is an island.” And that phrase is actually in The Bible, and yet, you mean to tell me it’s not in God’s will that I get a friend. It’s literally the only thing I wanted, and I never got it…..and now I have all sorts of friends, but it took leaving that religion to make friends?
You know, I’m glad Catholicism works for you, cause it did a number on me. Imagine at one point going through your life, thinking that you are destined for Hell. That no matter any amount of good that I did, didn’t matter. Or any amount of bad that I did, didn’t matter. Imagine feeling that way…that you are a piece of garbage that is going straight to hell, and that no matter what you did, didn’t matter anymore. For a while I felt that way, I felt like your God wanted nothing to do with me. Talk about a seriously messed up mind game.
Walking away from The Church and Catholicism in general, there’s so much freedom from that toxic mindset. I never thought, in a million years, that I would think that any amount of Good or even Bad that I did would never truly matter, but that’s exactly what happened to me. I’m sorry but, I’m never going back….. To feel that way feels absolutely isolating. Jesus went through a lot, but at least he had 12 friends to help him out. I had no one. In High School someone bought me a yearbook, and to this day I dunno who it was, but it’s gone. I don’t want to remember High School. It’s full of a bunch of people who literally did not care about me. The only ones that did, were adults, and it’s always been that way with me. I never fit in with people my own age, it was always the adults that had any amount of empathy. That’s messed up!
So yes, I do blame your God. He created me didn’t he? Or do I need to blame an angel? Who do I blame for all the terrible things that has happened to me since I was born, because this is terrible! I’m Schizo-Effective and I was born with a stutter, and all for what?! If God creates beautiful things, why did he create me? Was I like an afterthought or something? Why did I have to grow up with no one but my family? And why, when I decide to do something about my life and research the truth for myself, why did my own family want nothing to do with me? I’m open to listen to what you have to say, but honestly you’re only going to say something I’ve already been told. I’ve heard it all, and not just from normal people, but Priests, Cardinals, Bishops, etc… I want to hear something that makes sense, cause having a God who is just and all-knowing, but just allows anything and everything to happen without even laying a finger on someone makes know sense. I’ve concluded that God is just, but he doesn’t pass judgement on you till you’re dead, because having a God who is just 24 hours of the day and does nothing at all to help anyone out isn’t just. I’m sorry, you can stick up for your God all you want, the evidence is there. When something bad happens to someone, especially good people, God just sits there and allows it. That’s not justice, that’s ignorance, and I say ignorance because it is. God isn’t stupid, he willfully sits there and does nothing. I mean, according to you guys, God was once hueman here, so he knows what it’s like here. And yet, and yet, after we “crucified Him” He still hasn’t learned that evil and horrible things happen to people on this planet every single day? I mean…how many times do you have to defend this entity who is clearly Conditionally Loving and is just. I’m sorry, the evidence is right there, and you can tip-toe around it all you want, the fact of the matter is your God doesn’t care about people. He makes that very apparent in the Old Testament. I dunno what God Jesus came from, cause at least Jesus had the ability to show mercy, but I know the God in the Old Testament isn’t Jesus’s Father, cause all that God knows how to do is destroy entire cities, and even flood and kill 90% of all life with a flood, with zero regard to anyone who is innocent.
If I die and I am put in Hell, if I am allowed to say something before I die, it’ll be simply “Where were you when I needed you the most?”