Hi everyone,
I want to ask something honest rather than clever.
Every Catholic I have met carries one question they cannot answer. Maybe it is about suffering, or something in the Old Testament, or a doctrine someone they love cannot get past. Most of us hold it quietly and hope nobody asks.
Mine is this. Why are we here at all, and if the answer is that we exist to give glory to God, then why did He make me specifically? Not humanity in general, not “mankind”, but this particular soul, at this particular time, in this particular family. If His glory is the end of the matter, then the question that stays with me is why the universe needed a me.
I have an answer I use when I do not want to sit with it. It is the one most of us learned: we were made to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him, and in doing that we give Him glory. St. Irenaeus has a line about the glory of God being a person fully alive, and I do like it.
But then I go back on it. God has no need of anything. He is complete without us, without witnesses, without a single creature to praise Him. So if a glory needs someone to receive it or recognize it, that sounds less like glory and more like need, and I do not believe God needs me. When I try to patch that over by saying the glory is for us rather than for Him, I get a nicer sentence and not a better answer.
Then I turn a third time and wonder if I am asking the wrong thing. Maybe “why me specifically” is not a puzzle with an answer waiting behind a door. Maybe being known and loved by name is closer to the point than being told the reason. I do not know. I only know that the question has never gone away, and that praying with it has done more for me than the argument has.
Which is why I want to hear yours. Not the one you can settle with a paragraph from the Catechism, but the one that stays open, and what you do with it. Keep reading it, keep praying it, set it down for a while, or take it to someone wiser than you?
I would rather hear how you live with an open question than watch another round of debate about it. I do not think any of us are less Catholic for having one.
God Bless