Hi Tim,
It’s me again. So, just as a reminder I am an Ex-Catholic, so when you read my thoughts, just keep in mind that this is coming from someone who was, at one point, Catholic. And again, my goal isn’t to dissuade you from becoming Catholic. I’m just here to bring up a few points you should consider before thinking about whether or not you should join Catholicism.
So, as far as Confession goes, I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad Confessional experience. Most of the time I actually had a pretty good experience. Yes, there were times when I would break down crying, but that was because I cry at the drop of a hat anymore at anything bad that happens. But most of the time, you’d go in, confess, get out and you have a clean spirit for at least another week or 2.
But there is something you should be aware of. One day, when I was on vacation, a relative of mine was talking about how there was a Priest that they went on vacation with and apparently this Priest told my family members certain sins that were confessed to him. Now, if you innerstand how Confession is supposed to work, the Priest is not supposed to talk about any sins that is confessed to him outside of the Confessional. Confession is supposed to be a private thing between you, the Priest, and God. But, believe it or not, it didn’t bother me, and the reason why is because, the Priest would only talk about sins that were confessed to him, but he wouldn’t say who it was that was confessing to him.
Now, this is not a reason I left the Church. Cause, the way I looked at it was “Well, at least he’s not revealing who it was in the Parish that confessed to those sins.” But that doesn’t mean that what that man is doing is a good thing. As a Priest you are not to talk about anyone’s sins outside of the Confessional, and truly, you’re not even supposed to talk about any sin that is confessed to you. Everything that goes on in that Confessional is supposed to stay at that Confessional. And while it was ok with me, because he was just talking about the sin confessed, and not the person who confessed it, while I was able to look passed it, that doesn’t mean what he did was ok. In fact, what if it got around to the people who confessed that sin in the Parish that the Priest was openly talking about sins that were confessed in the Parish? That can really break a person’s trust with the Priest to where they don’t go to him anymore for confession, and it could get so bad that no one goes to that Priest to confess their sins. What it boils down to is, it’s the principle of the matter. If you’re a Priest and you are told not to talk about sins outside of the Confessional, you have a duty to not do that.
But no, that is not a situation in why I left the Church. Situations like the one happening above are VERY rare and seldom happen. Many people who are Catholic think that I left the Church for the silliest of reasons. I’m always told that “Going to Church is a personal thing, so anything that happens that doesn’t really involve you shouldn’t be a reason you don’t go to Church. You go to Church so YOU can form YOUR relationship with YOUR savior, and not worry about anything else.” And, there is a little bit of truth to that. But I cannot, in good faith, be part of a religion where a good chunk of Priests are sexually abusing little boys. I’ll never forget looking at that list of Priests who are Pedophiles. It would be different if it was maybe 1-3 Priests every year who do that kind of thing, but this list was quite big, a little too big for comfort. And this didn’t just happen in my State, this kind of thing was happening all over the U.S., and it made me sick to my stomach. You know what I mean? Cause what if I ever did get married, and have a little boy? And what if I wanted our little boy to go to Church with us? The fact that there’s a pretty big chunk of Priests who do this kind of thing would worry me a little bit. I’d never be a helicopter parent, but in this kind of situation, I wouldn’t feel bad being a helicopter parent, cause that’s my son, and I’ll be d*mned if my son would be a victim of such a thing. I also get flack by the Theological questions where the answer is usually “I don’t know.” I don’t feel like the argument of “Why does evil exist when God is just?” Or “Why do bad things happen to good people?” are poor arguments to not be a part of the faith. I feel like these are fair arguments to have. Again this is my afterlife I have to worry about here, so why do some of these things exist? And I’m never given an answer that seems reasonable. I am a reasonable person, and I am willing to look past certain things, but some of these questions need better answers than just “I don’t know.” Because a lot of these questions I had, I actually found the answer to, and I didn’t need a Theology degree to get to the answer. And that’s because, the answers are inside of you. You can find the answers to your questions by observing your external and figuring it out from there, but don’t ask anyone a question, because their answer may not be the real answer. Yes, for some people, the answer they gave makes sense to them and to others, but that doesn’t always mean their answer is your answer too. Look within….observe your external…cause remember, the answer to your questions are found from within. And because your external is a reflection of what is going on in your internal, sit back and observe what is going on here. Why does evil exist when God is supposed to be just? Well…look around and observe what’s going on. Every single day, something unjust is happening to somebody, and it’s not just one age group, it’s all age groups. Everyday something bad is happening, and sometimes to really good people too. Now, after observing this for a while and asking a lot of questions, I found my answer. That doesn’t mean you’ll get the same answer I got, maybe yours is different. But, all it takes is for you to question something till you finally get a straight answer, and in time you will. And if you don’t, it’s not because there’s not an answer to your question, you just may not be ready for the answer, but there is an answer for you.
But anyways, that’s my experience with Confession. As far as the answer to your question goes, I personally think that if you confess to God your sins, I feel like that’s valid. But, I’m not sure if Catholicism finds that valid, so that’s something someone else can answer for you. All I’m saying is, you can figure all of these answers out for yourself, you don’t need someone else to give you the answers you seek. But, it’s ultimately up to you and what it is you want to believe.
Namaste 
,
Jacob (or Jake)
