Understanding Confession

General
1

Hello.

My name is Timothy and I’m new here. Not actually Catholic but am in OCIA to learn more about the faith. I’m trying to get a better understanding about Confession.

The idea of confessing your sins to a priest who then forgives you (I understand it’s not literally the priest, but Christ working through him) ….. when one can just confess their sins straight to God with no middle man …. Just seems kind of odd to me.

God is everywhere. He’s with you all the time. What is the advantage of going to a priest for a confession … he is just one man and there are who knows how many people needing to confess in comparison to the people who are hearing confessions.

Put another way. Let’s think of an absurd example just for the sake of argument. You’re on an uncharted island with one other person. Food is running low, tensions are running high, and out of desperation you kill the other person and take his food out of survival. You just killed someone else. You committed a mortal sin but there is no priest around you for hundreds of miles. Are you unable to confess your sins and have them forgiven?

And if you ARE able to have your sins forgiven, either by God directly, or Christ working through a priest …. Then why would you ever go to the priest (who may be far, sick, or unavailable) when you can simply go to God wherever you are?

PS. I’m not saying this to be insensitive or hyper-critical, but out of one that’s sincerely interested in the faith.

2

Hi Tim,

It’s me again. So, just as a reminder I am an Ex-Catholic, so when you read my thoughts, just keep in mind that this is coming from someone who was, at one point, Catholic. And again, my goal isn’t to dissuade you from becoming Catholic. I’m just here to bring up a few points you should consider before thinking about whether or not you should join Catholicism.

So, as far as Confession goes, I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad Confessional experience. Most of the time I actually had a pretty good experience. Yes, there were times when I would break down crying, but that was because I cry at the drop of a hat anymore at anything bad that happens. But most of the time, you’d go in, confess, get out and you have a clean spirit for at least another week or 2.

But there is something you should be aware of. One day, when I was on vacation, a relative of mine was talking about how there was a Priest that they went on vacation with and apparently this Priest told my family members certain sins that were confessed to him. Now, if you innerstand how Confession is supposed to work, the Priest is not supposed to talk about any sins that is confessed to him outside of the Confessional. Confession is supposed to be a private thing between you, the Priest, and God. But, believe it or not, it didn’t bother me, and the reason why is because, the Priest would only talk about sins that were confessed to him, but he wouldn’t say who it was that was confessing to him.

Now, this is not a reason I left the Church. Cause, the way I looked at it was “Well, at least he’s not revealing who it was in the Parish that confessed to those sins.” But that doesn’t mean that what that man is doing is a good thing. As a Priest you are not to talk about anyone’s sins outside of the Confessional, and truly, you’re not even supposed to talk about any sin that is confessed to you. Everything that goes on in that Confessional is supposed to stay at that Confessional. And while it was ok with me, because he was just talking about the sin confessed, and not the person who confessed it, while I was able to look passed it, that doesn’t mean what he did was ok. In fact, what if it got around to the people who confessed that sin in the Parish that the Priest was openly talking about sins that were confessed in the Parish? That can really break a person’s trust with the Priest to where they don’t go to him anymore for confession, and it could get so bad that no one goes to that Priest to confess their sins. What it boils down to is, it’s the principle of the matter. If you’re a Priest and you are told not to talk about sins outside of the Confessional, you have a duty to not do that.

But no, that is not a situation in why I left the Church. Situations like the one happening above are VERY rare and seldom happen. Many people who are Catholic think that I left the Church for the silliest of reasons. I’m always told that “Going to Church is a personal thing, so anything that happens that doesn’t really involve you shouldn’t be a reason you don’t go to Church. You go to Church so YOU can form YOUR relationship with YOUR savior, and not worry about anything else.” And, there is a little bit of truth to that. But I cannot, in good faith, be part of a religion where a good chunk of Priests are sexually abusing little boys. I’ll never forget looking at that list of Priests who are Pedophiles. It would be different if it was maybe 1-3 Priests every year who do that kind of thing, but this list was quite big, a little too big for comfort. And this didn’t just happen in my State, this kind of thing was happening all over the U.S., and it made me sick to my stomach. You know what I mean? Cause what if I ever did get married, and have a little boy? And what if I wanted our little boy to go to Church with us? The fact that there’s a pretty big chunk of Priests who do this kind of thing would worry me a little bit. I’d never be a helicopter parent, but in this kind of situation, I wouldn’t feel bad being a helicopter parent, cause that’s my son, and I’ll be d*mned if my son would be a victim of such a thing. I also get flack by the Theological questions where the answer is usually “I don’t know.” I don’t feel like the argument of “Why does evil exist when God is just?” Or “Why do bad things happen to good people?” are poor arguments to not be a part of the faith. I feel like these are fair arguments to have. Again this is my afterlife I have to worry about here, so why do some of these things exist? And I’m never given an answer that seems reasonable. I am a reasonable person, and I am willing to look past certain things, but some of these questions need better answers than just “I don’t know.” Because a lot of these questions I had, I actually found the answer to, and I didn’t need a Theology degree to get to the answer. And that’s because, the answers are inside of you. You can find the answers to your questions by observing your external and figuring it out from there, but don’t ask anyone a question, because their answer may not be the real answer. Yes, for some people, the answer they gave makes sense to them and to others, but that doesn’t always mean their answer is your answer too. Look within….observe your external…cause remember, the answer to your questions are found from within. And because your external is a reflection of what is going on in your internal, sit back and observe what is going on here. Why does evil exist when God is supposed to be just? Well…look around and observe what’s going on. Every single day, something unjust is happening to somebody, and it’s not just one age group, it’s all age groups. Everyday something bad is happening, and sometimes to really good people too. Now, after observing this for a while and asking a lot of questions, I found my answer. That doesn’t mean you’ll get the same answer I got, maybe yours is different. But, all it takes is for you to question something till you finally get a straight answer, and in time you will. And if you don’t, it’s not because there’s not an answer to your question, you just may not be ready for the answer, but there is an answer for you.

But anyways, that’s my experience with Confession. As far as the answer to your question goes, I personally think that if you confess to God your sins, I feel like that’s valid. But, I’m not sure if Catholicism finds that valid, so that’s something someone else can answer for you. All I’m saying is, you can figure all of these answers out for yourself, you don’t need someone else to give you the answers you seek. But, it’s ultimately up to you and what it is you want to believe.

Namaste :folded_hands: ,
Jacob (or Jake)

4

Usually I confess whatever is on my conscience. One problem I have is that if I’m aware of doing something wrong or failing to do something right, I try to rectify it and apologize if need be (and here’s the problem: I tend to forget about it entirely). An example I mentioned in another thread is that years ago I realized that I was doing basically no Friday penance. I intended to mention this the next time I went to confession. At the same time, the pope wrote the luminous mysteries of the rosary. I was already praying the other 15 mysteries daily, so I started praying the extra 5 on Fridays. Problem solved—and forgotten the next time I went to confession.

I had only one bad confessional experience that I remember. At one parish, the pastor was cranky and critical. When I went to confession, there were lines for the other priests but a short line for him. “He doesn’t bother me,” I thought, but after I told him everything I remembered and had tried to make a good confession, he kept saying, “And? … And? …” And he said that according to the Bible, the just man sins seven times a day. I never went to confession with him again, and I looked up what the Bible said, and it was “Though the just man sin seven times a day …” That means, “even if the just man should sin seven times a day.”

One time, maybe a year ago, when I went to confession (different church, good pastor), I said that I forget things. He was even older than I am, and he said it’s OK, he forgets things too. If I committed a serious sin I would remember it.

5

Correct, the Priest is acting in Persona Christi. When we confess our sins in Confession, it is Christ who forgives our sins.

We can and do prayerfully confess our sins straight to God. One could easily also ask, why do we call anything a sin at all? Why not just say that there is no such thing a sin? That would be easier than admitting our faults at all. And sadly, many in this world do just this.

I don’t know if you have watched any of “The Chosen,” but there is a beautiful scene at the end of Episode 6 of Season 2, where Mary Magdalen has fallen back into sin and the Apostles go out a bring her back into the fold. Mary, our Blessed Mother, then takes Mary into the Tent where Jesus was. Magdalen did not want to bother Him (whether it was out of shame & embarrassment or that she genuinely didn’t want to bother Him, is not clear, I can only speculate that it was because of the former). As Mary Magdalen enters the tent and begins apologizing to Jesus (though I don’t recall if we actually hear what she is saying, but I do recall that she was experiencing God mercy, through Jesus in this humbling act).

My point is, Our Blessed Mother could have just told Mary Magdalen, “Take out the middle-man and jut go to The Father yourself in Prayer. You’re right, you don’t need to bother Jesus.”

Jesus wants us to bother Him. He died so that we can be forgiven! And He desires to free us from the bondąge of sin.

Jesus breathed on the Apostles (and their successors) the authority to loosen and to bind and the command to forgive sins.

Another benefit to calling out your sins by name (out loud) is that it hits harder than vaguely Praying, “Forgive me Heavenly Father, for I am a sinner.” Yes, this is a good Prayer, but calling out our sins by name is much more difficult. Why? Because it is taking accountability and not blaming our fallen human nature. We are saying, “Here are the times, Lord, I admit, that I chose my selfish will over Your will.”

I will be honest. Confession sucks! And it sucks, because it sucks to admit our faults. Children know this more than anyone. Adam & Eve played a game of hide & seek with God after The Fall (as if God could not see them : )

Jesus, the New Adam, did not come to condemn, but to reconcile us and give us life.

Thank you for recognizing that this is sinful. There are Jesuits who try to play silly games (called situational ethics) where they try to say that in some cases it is not a sin (which I whole-heartedly disagree). I would say that in some situations, sin seems necessary, but the action is still sinful. Now whether or not God will hold us culpable is another conversations that we can have, but it would be only be speculation on both our parts.

There are norms that God has established. And God can work outside of these norms. For example, the Thief on the cross was saved, even though (we presume) that he was not Baptized. This is an exception to the norm. Some Christians will look at the exception and try to make it the norm.

Another example, when Cornelius and his friends received the Holy Spirit prior to being Baptized, this was an exception so that the Apostles, who were debating if these individuals should be Baptized. God sometimes works outside of the norms. In this case, God bestowed the grace before the act of humility.

Likewise, if someone is unable to humble themselves in the act of Reconciliation, God may bestow the grace upon the contrite and when this individual gets off the island and can formally confess these sins, it can be done. And if, by a tragic chance, you are not rescued from the island and die, like the thief’s Baptism by desire, one can hope that they will be saved.

No, I love it! I’m all about hypotheticals. My simple answer is, let’s not make the exception[s] the norm[s].

God could have healed the blind man without mud, but He didn’t. God could have spawned Jesus to Earth, as an adult, without Mary, but He didn’t. There are reasons why God does what He does. Sometimes these reasons are difficult to understand.

I hope this helps : )

6

Hi @Mazrocon! These are good questions.

As @Cade_One has expressed, for those who cannot receive sacraments, one’s desire can serve as a channel of grace. If someone makes a perfect (i.e. complete) act of contrition, he is restored to grace. A perfect act of contrition is when one makes an act of sorrow for sin on account of having offended our good and loving God (as opposed to being afraid of punishment, etc.). Built-in to this perfect act of contrition would be the intention to approach a priest for Confession if and when one is able to do so.

@Cade_One has also correctly identified the fact that sacramental Confession was instituted by Christ.

If we theologize about what his reasons might be, different reasons may occur to us.

One reason that we have to encounter a man we can see (depending on the quality of the confessional grille) and hear and who physically hears us is that we are bodily creatures. Christ wants to save the whole of us (soul and body) and so his grace comes to us in ways that are sensible.

Another reason that occurs to me is a social reason. We are social animals, as Aristotle said. And our salvation is also communal (i.e. we are not saved apart from the Church). So confessing our sins, doing penance, and being reconciled appropriately takes on a social dimension in this sacrament.

May God bless you on your journey!

1 Like
8

Hello Stephen.

If you don’t mind me saying so, this sounds like a bold claim to make. The doctrine of the Trinity is a very foundational belief in Christianity and to say that it is incorrect is say that the Christian world at large is in grave error (2,000 some years of false teaching).

Jesus says in Matthew to proclaim the Gospel baptizing those “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” He doesn’t say baptize them “In the name of the Father, and the Mother, and the Son.”

Mary - while important and certainly very special - is not God nor apart of the Godhead.

1 Like