The last time I posted, I mentioned that the Sisters of my group no longer allow me to continue serving in the group. I had previously served and studied in her group for a year and she thought I was doing a good job then. Outside We had a good relationship then too. Then a year later, I was invited by her to join the parish youth organization, also for service. Later on, she and I had many disagreements, conflicts and contradictions in terms of group cooperation.
The main problem was that on the one hand we were very close in private and on the other hand when we came to the group, she was my leader and head of the group and I had to obey her. So then, when I was in the group and I suggested something to her as a group worker, it was like she would respond to me in her personal role, like I’m busy, I’m tired every day, a lot of things, I’m just a nun, you have to understand me. When I encountered some unhappiness in the group because of my service and wanted her to understand and care for me, she would again respond to me in the role of a group leader, for example, you should be aware of the big picture, look at the long term and not be too emotional. So I couldn’t pick up on the meaning of her words correctly at all. There were times when she would accuse me of what I was not doing well, and I would listen very carefully and tell her that as long as you do that, I will know correctly what you want. Her. But she would later deny that she had said such things.
This made my head spin very much. Later on she offered to dissolve the partnership with me, which I thought I could say yes to because I had that intention already. But. But I was at a low point in my life and I was emotionally unstable and I said I needed to take some time off before making a decision. She. As a result, she said, if you stay there any longer, I might do something to upset you then. I was inspired to anger by that statement. Because of feeling threatened.
Then she made a personal, unilateral decision that didn’t require a personal response from me either. I also asked her later in person and she said she had already decided and didn’t need to be asked again. The reason for the dissolution of the partnership was that she did it in the name of maintaining the friendship, because by continuing to work together we had a lot of conflicts, and maybe by not working together, our relationship could be maintained. I believed her statements at the time. But I have since realized that none of the things she did were in line with what a friend would do. More than For example, avoiding messages, WeChat hacking me (because there were a lot of things I didn’t understand, and I’m an easily anxious person who sent her a lot of messages at that time), and in group activities, she would pretend she couldn’t see me or hear me, and marginalize me in the group. I noticed all of this, but everyone else thought I was too sensitive.
This Sister had a high reputation and authority in our parish and was also a Sister who was responsible for running many groups. She was well versed in psychology.
I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I admit that I have done a lot of things wrong and very anxious behavior in this matter, but it is true that this nun is affecting me a lot right now and I don’t know what to do. Can anyone offer a different perspective and advice? I’d like to hear the wisdom of all of you.