God gifted us each free-will. I can understand why you might feel like it is your fault. I have a 17 year old and I am not worried about her spiritually, but my how time has flown by!
I am more worried about my youngest daughter when it comes to her relationship with our Lord and with His Church. Limiting social media is a struggle. Our oldest does not have social media (other than commenting on YouTube from time-to-time). The youngest, however, is easily influenced by what she watches and consumes.
My youngest will not have a “smart” phone before she is responsible enough leading up to adulthood nor while she has low impulse control (which she might not grow out of, in which she will have to wait until she can sign up for her own plan and be responsible enough to pay her own bill). She will say that we are working against her or trying to “control” her, but it is because we love and care about her that we are not giving into what the world says is right and just.
I have a niece who was raised on social media from a very young age and she began identifying as a boy at age 13. She has changed her names twice and her pronouns to (him/thęy). Her parents (one being my brother) embraced her newfound religion (and it is a religion). Their youngest now goes by thęm/thęy at 4 years old!
In a way, I think we have all failed the next generation. Maybe it is because I’m a Dad, but if my daughter came to me and said, “I believe in the ‘universe,’” I would probably audibly laugh out loud. Same if my daughter came to me and said she is a boy and wants to be identified as such.
My advice would be that, if our children live under our roof (and I’m sorry that your daughter made the unwise decision to leave), then they live under our guidelines for them. You were right in not letting the boyfriend live with her (temporarily). I am concerned about the boyfriend’s relationship with his family as well. Might he be influencing your daughter’s poor choices or is he just going along with your daughter’s ideas, I don’t know.
We try to raise our children the best we can. Could we always have done more or done things differently, for sure. But, children sometimes choose the wrong path, even if we were to do everything right. I’m thinking of the Prodigal Son (in Luke 15). Your daughter might not see value in The Bible, but their is wisdom in these Sacred texts. And she might think it is a tool of “the patriarchy” to control people, but it is actually God’s love story to His children.
I can’t say that I understand her newfound spirituality. Does she control the crystals or do the crystals control her? Is there universal wisdom in “the universe”? What does she mean by “the universe.” Is “the universe” a god, The God, or is she a god to “the universe”? These are the types of conversations I would have with my daughter. I would explain to my daughter that I am genuinely curious about what her new-found religion teaches and where it originated.
I would also explain to her that she does not reject what I believe, but rather what she wrongly perceives about what I believe and that I do not want to do the same to what she now believes. This is important to me. I do not go to a Baptist to learn about what Mormons believe. I go to a Mormon. And I certainly would not go to an ex-Catholic who has been hurt by someone of Faith (or what she perceives is hurtful) to learn about what Catholic Christians believe. If someone came to your daughter and asked what Catholics believe, they would be taught something contrary to the Faith.
I would explain to my daughter that I could go to a non-Crystian and learn about what it is she believes about “the universe,” but I would rather ask her what she believes, rather than get it from someone who either does not practice what she does nor from someone who used to believe what she does, but was hurt by it or never really understood it.
I would ask a lot of questions and of course Pray for her and tell her that she might not want to see it right now, but that you love her.