This topic came up on Pints with Aquinas (podcast) in a conversation between Matt Fradd and Michael Knowles.
I agree with Michael Knowles about not referring to your Wife as your “Best Friend.” I love my Wife more than my friends, and I define these as two distinctly different roles. I have a Wife and I have a “Best Friend.”
Fradd replied with a quote from St. Thomas Aquinas, but with respect, Aquinas was not Married.
Marriage is the deepest form of relationship one can have with another. Even above a “Best Friend.” This is why Jesus compares his relationship with Christ as that of a Husband & Wife (Ephesians 5:32).
I think we are all saying the same thing, but define certain terms differently.
What say you guys? Do you refer to your Husband or Wife as your “Best Friend”?
Jesus also said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13), and this does not mean that we ought to have multiple Wives ; )
Not multiple wives? Well, just two for me (the first one died). Which reminds me that some time ago one of the readings at Mass mentioned that Solomon had maybe 500 wives. I remarked that one good one is all I wanted. Then I observed that even if some of those wives were sisters, he must have had hundreds of mothers-in-law.
Well, that was a good question, Cade. I don’t think of my wife as my best friend. We are close, we discuss things freely, we share most of our time (being both retired), we pray together, and we are friends. We were married in 2020, and because of the pandemic, for the first year or so we were together almost all the time and saw hardly anybody else. I remarked to a minister I know that it’s a good thing my wife and I like each other.
I have some close friends but not one best friend.
I was listening to “Catholic in a Small Town” (Podcast) and Katherine’s Dad asked each of his daughter’s boyfriends, when they asked for his blessing to Marry his daughter, “I know you love (have feelings for) my daughter, but do you like my daughter?” I think love is deeper than like, but young people often buy into the notion that love is a feeling. Will you treat her well?
I would say that the same is true for me.
My brother-in-law, and a few others I know, who count every acquaintance as a “friend.” So, they seem to have a millions friends. I have individuals I know (acquaintances) and then I have a few friends (individuals who are more than just people I have met a few times).
I’m German (heritage, not citizen ship), and I tend to take terms more literal I guess. It runs in our Family : )
I take friendship seriously. One former coworker and friend joked that to become my friend requires application forms and fees. But she made it, and I was at her wedding.
Love means wanting and doing what is best for the one you love. I never met my current wife’s parents, because they had died years before (we were both in our 60s when we met), but my wife says they would have liked me. Her daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughters, other relatives, and friends were warm to me from the start. I said I wouldn’t dream of trying to take the place of my wife’s first husband or to be a new father or grandfather, and I thanked them for trusting me to love, take care of, and be good to my wife.
That’s awesome! I used to always tell my Wife that if I died, I would not want her to re-Marry someone else and I would do the same, but as I have grown in maturity, my views on this have changed. I would want her to find someone if I were to pass. I hope he is good to her and the girls (just not too good that he makes me look bad ; )