God bless to all. I’m a convert of Catholicism in the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham. I converted six months ago, and I’m still a Catholic, although I don’t know if I converted for the right reasons.
I’m a big narcissist. I live in a sort of fantasy world where I think I’ll become noteworthy enough to be remembered after death- which goes against Catholic teaching. I’m only eighteen, and I keep trying to find paths and careers that will make me more noteworthy. I keep wanting to become a composer to spite my old Anglican church. I keep wanting to also have a large amount of money as a lawyer or a politician. I have been cruel or negligent of people around me, and I’ve manipulated, lied or cheated to get what I wanted and do avoid consequences.
I understand why vainglory is wrong, but its hard to stop pursuing it. I keep having fantasies in my ahead about it. I’m more stable than this post might sound, but its familial as my grandfather, uncle and aunt on my father’s side are also narcissists.
How do I live as a good Catholic if any route makes me prone to severe pride? I can’t be a husband because narcissists are cruel to their wives. I can’t be a priest because then I’d want to be a bishop, archbishop and so on. I can’t be a monk because I’d want to be an abbot. How do I actually live humbly if I have a disorder that makes me act poorly?
To me, you’re in the right religion because ultimately we become like God from the spirit through the life in both natures as catholic becoming again, one Holy Spirit Family One God in being.
To me, veinglory is a feature benefit of understanding the will of the father we share.
Pope Francis always said, Stephen do not preach or proselytize but instead generalize the faith for all.
Yes, Papa Francis.
We have the power as Catholic disciples to tell everyone we all become again one Holy Spirit Family One God in being.
Hi, Stephen. I know discernment takes a long time, but I feel like all the options put me on the road of being very ambitious and, as a result, quite vain. What would I do in this situation?
To me, The greatest gift is in not receiving the “Gift” of the keys but in helping pass them out.
The truth is in the story that never changes and the greatest story ever told is the also the greatest Truth in the Christ becoming again through both natures spirit and life in One Holy Spirit Family One God in being, to me.
To me, The power in the truth is to be able to retell the story as if God himself were talking.
To me through faith we believe but to me also the logic I am seeing follows the rationalogical and work proven formulas of the Wondrous Mysteries of the Faith in what He came to do. No one on earth to me recoginizes logically the Two Nature God from the Faith of Abraham from the spirit through the created souls of all for the flesh, the Body to become again One God in One Holy Spirit Family in being.
Always to me, Early Forefathers of the Trinity failed to see The Holy Spirit as One God in being One Holy Family and all mankind is created from the Father transformed immortla through the Mother for the Son in The Christ becoming again incorruptibly glorified and transfigured One Holy Spirit Family One God in being.
The fact that you are only 18 and thinking about your career is not a bad thing. You remind me of my brother. He has big dreams, but does not take the steps to achieve them. He talks a lot about what he wants to do, but does not put in the work to do this. I would say that his pride is that he doesn’t learn from others mistakes or take advice from those who have done it. Instead he wants to do it on his own. We are not meant to do things on our own. It is why Christ started a church and gifted us His Word and the grace which flows from Christ.
I think being successful while not losing your soul is very noble (and very difficult).
A few weeks ago I met with someone on the Christian Chamber of Commerce. It was started by a woman and a few others (one being a layer) and the way it got started was the lawyer introduced himself to the group by saying, “My name is _____ and I am an honest lawyer.” And it caught on. Each founding member went around the room introducing themselves as “and I’m an honest ______.”
As Christians, the way we conduct ourselves in business is important. And we are better at being truly successful by being Christian and not simply claiming to be “Christian.” This means Praying for others. Praying for other members in the chamber. Praying for our clients and patrons. Praying for their Families. Praying for those who attach us for our Faith.
Being successful should not be the goal, but being successful is not bad either. What we do with our success is what matters. And how we get there is also important.
Do you have a plan to achieve success or is it just a dream? Is the dream attainable? What steps are needed to begin the journey? Are there others who have made the mistakes, so you don’t waste time making the same mistakes? Are you teachable? Or do you think you can figure everything out on your own (which is not the way to be successful).
I went to see Sarah Hart a few weeks ago. She came to a Church about an hour away from me. She is a composer and an amazing lyricist. You may find her music in your Church hymnal, but she has also written music for popular Christian and secular artists. She grew up in the same town where my great Grandma lived. She has since moved to Nashville, which is known for recording music. Sometimes if we want to be successful, it might require moving to a different location. But, these are things that we need to Pray about, discern, and get the advise from others who are successful (again, we need to be teachable).
Sounds like you would make a great politician ; )
My brother had dreams of being on “American Idol,” tried out and did not make it through. Then he had dreams of being on “The Voice,” tried out and did not make it through. He did not do the things that make you a better singer nor did he learn how to play an instrument. This is what I mean by being teachable. A dream is not what makes us successful. Hard work and honesty is what is needed.
Then my brother had dreams of becoming a Politician. People told him that he would need to start local and work his way up to the United States Congress. He did not listen. Instead, he ran for The House of Representatives and got smoked in the general Election. Then he tried running a step down for State Rep and lost in the Primary to a business man who owns a successful Radio Station.
If you want to be a politician, you should start local, do a good job, and then run a step up. And if you are really good, then someone may ask you to run a few steps up and even offer to back your campaign to do so, but again, you should not expect someone to do this.
I am not a dreamer. My success is my Faith and my Family. I know that not everyone is like me. And I know that not every is content and have something that makes them feel less-than if they are not successful (which is a moving target). You can be the richest man in the world and still not find happiness or content. This is because our joy comes from God, not from material wealth.
So, here is your homework. What steps do you need to take to become a lawyer or a composer? Who is approachable that has had success in these areas? Talk to God about your dreams, but ask for His will to be done in your life. Don’t talk about your dream(s) publicly until you have achieved the steps to get there (passing the bar or composing/recording). And once you have made this benchmark, then be approachable to others who are where you are where you once were.
This is all the wisdom that I have for you. When you succeed don’t take all the credit (have gratitude for those who you allowed to help you along the way). When you fail, take some accountability, learn what you did wrong, and share with others how to avoid your mistakes (and Pray that it will help someone else who is teachable). These are practical steps to overcoming pride and arrogance.
I will Pray you take the steps towards success, whatever that success looks like to God and not your own understanding of success. If you are seriously looking to becoming a lawyers, I know someone who might be open to talking with you about how to achieve this. He passed the bar just a few months ago. He is not a Christian, but is Jewish. He is into politics too. I would not be surprised if he runs for office on down the line. He has interviews quite a few politicians and political figure on his Podcast, learning and asking questions. Being teachable and forming relationships. Very key.
Hello, Cade! What steps should I take if there’s another career path that I would like more, and is easier for me to success, but I’ve been avoiding it because of the pay? Would it be simpler to let go of the other prideful pursuits to pursue it instead?
To me, I would generalize the Catholic Faith to all and God will take care of the rest, logically.
And to me, logically understanding the Christ makes it much easier to see God literally.
To me, I would pass out the keys to this new found logic everyday and no more worries.
To me, The greatest gift is in not receiving the “Gift” of the keys but in helping pass them out.
The truth is in the story that never changes and the greatest story ever told is the also the greatest Truth in the Christ becoming again through both natures spirit and life in One Holy Spirit Family One God in being, to me.
To me, The power in the truth is to be able to retell the story as if God himself were talking.
To me through faith we believe but to me also the logic I am seeing follows the rationalogical and work proven formulas of the Wondrous Mysteries of the Faith in what He came to do. No one on earth to me recoginizes logically the Two Nature God from the Faith of Abraham from the spirit through the created souls of all for the flesh, the Body to become again One God in One Holy Spirit Family in being.
To me we see all mankind as sons and daughters of God.
Always to me, Early Forefathers of the Trinity failed to see The Holy Spirit as One God in being One Holy Family and all mankind is created from the Father transformed immortla through the Mother for the Son in The Christ becoming again incorruptibly glorified and transfigured One Holy Spirit Family One God in being.
These are all things that you need to consider. I would say, put everything on the table (even things that sound silly). Then look at each one (the good and the ugly). Then throw out the ones that don’t make the cut (after looking at them more closely). When you get it narrowed down to one or two, then Talk to God, Talk to individuals who have taken similar journeys. And then trust and commit.
What I mean by trust is inviting the Holy Spirit (God) along with you. And even if you make mistakes, ask Him to be by your side through any up’s and down’s.
What I mean by committing is, once you have decided which option to go with, do the things. Don’t do a little and then stop or get distracted. Keep going. Perseverance is key.
I reiterate the importance of remaining teachable. Don’t think that you have to know everything. This means actually taking advice and adding it to the table. When you have thoughts that you have to figure everything out on your own, because you want the credit for it, that is your ego talking.
I like Cade’s advice about remaining teachable. At this point I’ve been a writer and editor (now mostly retired) for more than 45 years. Back in the 80s and 90s, I often was on the faculty at writer’s conferences, some of which featured a panel at the end when the writers could ask the faculty anything at all. Somebody asked what we wished we knew when we were getting started. I remember my answer: I wish I’d known how little I knew back then. As I learned that in any subject, there was always somebody who knew more than I did, I started listening to those who knew more, and I took opportunities to learn new things.
Just from a mental health perspective, narcissism very often emerges when you’ve had a difficult upbringing. But even if that’s not the case, for whatever reason, you’ve gone out of your way to avoid the pain of vulnerability. I would suggest finding a Catholic counselor in order to process all of it, as well as consulting with a priest.
To be clear, from a Catholic perspective, narcissism is something to be continually working on overcoming. You can become a talented composer or lawyer without narcissism. In fact, in either of these professions, you will be the subject of a LOT of criticism - it’s just the nature of the beast. And counterintuitively, a sense of humility will make criticism directed at you a lot less painful.
To answer the question of your thread title, you can serve the Church in any way you please! God bless you in your quest to do so!
To piggyback off of what Genevieve said, I recently heard a comedian who’s both Mom and Dad taught at Catholic Colleges say that we need narcissists. He gave the example of a surgeon who is very confident at what he does, but even the best sometimes can’t save every patient. A surgeon who is very sensitive (for lack of a better word) might quit after one child died on their operating table. But a narcissist might take it as a hit to his ego, but believes that he can do better next time (even though it might not have even been his fault that the child didn’t make it).
There is a very talented surgeon near where I work and he has horrible bedside service. There are other sermons with great bedside service, but is not a skilled.
