Are Arranged Marriages Biblical?

Catholic Living
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I was thinking the other about what the Bible has to say about arranged Marriages and then I remembered that Eve was arranged by God for Adam (God must have knew Adam’s type ; )

The other that came to mind was Mary and Joseph. I’m sure there are more than just these two, but I came to the conclusion that arranged Marriages are indeed Biblical, but not necessarily the norm.

I know two people in my life who’ve been in arranged Marriages. The first was a couple from the Church I grew up in. They were from India. She was my 6th Grade Science Teacher and he was the Town’s Doctor (and very knowledgeable of the Bible). They were very happily Married and it was very sad when he became ill and passed from Pneumonia I believe. She made a Prayer book in his honor. These were Prayers that they would often Pray together as a couple.

I know of another individual who had been arranged to a very abusive Muslim man and it was not good. He would beat her for adding to much seasoning to his meal and beat her if she put too little salt on his food. She tried fighting back once, but that was a huge mistake. He only beat her worse. Long-story-short (and she does have an amazing conversion story of Jesus, whom she was unaware of at the time), she eventually took their dowry and escaped the abuse! Her story does have a very good ending, which I believe I have shared before.

I have heard that only 4% of arranged Marriages actually end in Divorce, but I don’t know how old these states are and what contributes to such a “success” rate.

I take it back, I know two others who have been arranged. I used to work at a Hotel owned by a family from India and my Boss and his cousin were both arranged and they are still Married. I called the cousin “Indian James Bond.” He was always very dapper and his Wife was stunningly beautiful, but my Boss said that women in India have Botox Parties like we had Tupperware® Parties in the 80’s : )

Can you think of any other examples in the Bible (good or bad) of arranged Marriages?

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No, I can’t think of any other examples right off the bat, but if there’s one thing I’ve realized about huemans is, the whole opposites attract theory might work for magnets, but that’s not how it is with people. There are some people who can make it work, and you have to be an evolved person in order to make something like that work, but most people tend to have more fulfilling marriages when their significant other is like them in interests.

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Mary and Joseph: funny you mentioned arranged marriages after someone mentioned in another thread that, according to one account, Joseph was in his nineties when he mrarried Mary. I was thinking that if their marriage was arranged by their parents, then Mary’s parents made a strange choice if they picked a groom in his nineties, and it reminded me of the “Matchmaker” song in Fiddler on the Roof (set in a Jewish community in Russia in the 1800s). The community matchmaker picks couples, but the grooms are not always good catches.

[Three sisters:]
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch …

[Matchmaker:]
Have I made a match for you!
He’s handsome, he’s young!
Alright, he’s 62.

[Steve says: or 92]

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And if Joseph’s parents were involved in arranging the marriage, they might have been only 115.

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It has more to do

It had more to do with their lineage. St. Joseph was form the prophetic line of the Tribe of Judah and Mary was from the line of King David, of which the Messiah was to come.

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So if it had more to do with lineage, it had less to do with the parents’ choice? But still it was partly to do with the parents’ choice? And if Joseph had any sons, would they have had the exact same lineage he did? So if they existed, could they have been considered as husbands for Mary? And who chose Joseph and Mary as marriage partners based on their lineage? If it was God, that still had to be communicated to both of them before they got engaged.

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We watched the second episode of the third season of “The Chosen” last night and something came up relating to this topic. St. Thomas wanted to Marry a woman, but Thomas’ father had died and because their Parents had not arranged for them to be Married (as tradition apparently was implied), they were afraid that it would not be granted. In the show, Thomas tells Jesus of his wishes to Marry Ramah (who was introduced as a fictional character). Thomas was hoping to go ask her father for her hand in Marriage. Jesus is about to send the Apostles out two-by-two and sends Thomas to the region where Ramah’s parents live, so that he can make a request to Marry, which was uncommon in their culture.

God did.

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I have watched all of The Chosen and found it generally well done and entertaining. It has consultants guiding the content. Coincidentally a good Catholic man recently told me that he doesn’t like The Chosen because some people think it’s all historical fact, and I said I think that some people do the same with the Gospel of James.

So if God chose Joseph and Mary to be married, how did He communicate this to them? Through the decisions of their parents? Through angels? To get engaged, they must have reached a decision or had a decision made for them and communicated to them. I believe that God brought me and my wife together, and I can relate the steps we took that led to that.

If Joseph and Mary’s becoming a couple “had more to do with their lineage,” how did they arrive at this knowledge and conclude that it was the major reason for them to marry? Divine revelation? A human matchmaker?

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Well, I have a vastly different take on this, take it or leave it (but I have a vastly different take on the different stories in The Bible, because I’ve read or innerstood some of the text that was taken out), but to my knowledge and innerstanding, the angel named Enki (the leader of the good faction of the Annunaki that they talk about in Enoch) took some of his sperm and artificially inseminated it into Mary. This is, of course, one account taken into consideration. Plus, we already know what happens when you mix angel dna with hueman dna, you basically get a giant, and Jesus wasn’t a giant. So, that’s the only reason why I don’t think this happened, unless the angel somehow modified the dna, which is possible. Enki was, after all, a master alchemist.

But personally, I think what happened was Mary had a true virgin birth. There’s actually a study where they took a bunch of women who desired to get pregnant, and every single day they were to think, talk, and pretend to have a baby inside of them. Now, I don’t remember how long this actually took, but basically the study concluded that it is possible for women to have virgin births, cause every single woman who was a part of this study became pregnant. So, I think Mary basically manifested Jesus in her belly. How Joseph fits into all of this, not sure. I just know that the man loved Mary. But, again, it is possible for women to have virgin births.

Those are my thoughts.

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Somedays Stephen I wish I had just enough intelligence to make out what you say sometimes. You are so intelligent my friend. If you ever need my help, I’ll try my best to help you out. You’re a good person Stephen. You shine brighter than the sun! Keep feeding that spirit of yours God’s manna, cause you got the gift!

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The Bible does not explain how Mary and Joseph met or how their marriage was arranged. It only states they were “betrothed.”

And then the Angel appears to Joseph, who is described as “a righteous man,” in a dream. The Angel tells him, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home” (Matthew 1:20).

I believe God brought my Wife and I together. There were a few times that we were at the same places at the same time, prior to our actually meeting. I went to school with a girl two-hours away from my Wife’s hometown. This girl, who was a friend of mine, had two Cousins who apparently went to my Wife’s Youth Group! When I went to College in this city where my Wife grew up, we went over to someone’s house with my friend’s Cousin’s Youth Group to watch the comedy “Tommy Boy.” The room was dark when we arrived and the movie had already started. My Wife and I were in the same room and didn’t even know it!

Another time, I was working at a Super Kmart and these weird group of kids came in dressed in Toga outfits. I still to this day, do not know what that was all about, but my Wife was apparently one of these. It was her Youth Group, again, just goofing around.

There were a couple other moments like this, where we were at the same places at the same time, where we could have met, but maybe I was too in my own world or it wasn’t God’s timing for us to meet.

Do I believe there is one person for everyone? No, I don’t believe this, but do I believe God know who may make a good Wife/Husband for someone? I do. God know each and every one of us better than we know ourselves. And if you are Praying for a future spouse and trust God to find someone for you with the qualities He knows can work, I believe God will give us opportunities to meet someone who is a fit.

Does this mean that we will always recognize this opportunity or not wrongly choose someone who is not who God had in mind for us? Trust me, I was deceived, and dated the wrong person, before I met my Wife. That was on me, not God’s mistake. He was probably shaking His head and was like, What are you doing? I’ve given you a few opportunities to meet this one, and you go for that one? Seriously? : )

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You go Stephen….you are a treasure to have here. One of God’s many gifts. I’m so proud of you!

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‘Arranged marriages’ is a context strictly to do with families, as you can often see for yourselves in historical dramas where wealth was at the forefront of their intentions.

Biblical, no. God ordaining a man and woman to be married is not the same as a human-being lording it over others for intentions running second-place to love. God is Love, and so you can be absolutely sure that were God to bring spouses together then the initial premise would be…love.

Our Lady was mentioned in this thread: Our Lady was set to marry St. Joseph, prior to God’s prophecy coming to be. St. Joseph then married Our Lady, anyway, as God would have it. St. Joseph, while being of royal lineage, wouldn’t have clung to this knowledge (from what the Church knows of him), yet he would have been aware of Our Lady just as those who are around one another in each other’s social-circles, so to speak, are aware of one another. So, it was in God’s providence that they met and that the prophecy took place as it did. As said, God being Love, the unfolding of God’s plan for humanity was as we would expect it to have taken place and which was with grace and holiness and Divine meaning.