I am weighing whether I should seek an annulment of my marriage.
Has anyone here been through this; I understand it’s a pretty exhausting and invasive endeavor? I have to say that I am pretty uneasy about going down this path. We were married for 10 years and and had 2 children. It’s not like we didn’t know what we were doing nor did we have any adultery or such.
What’s the purpose? If there’s no chance of another relationship, then there’s no purpose … unless she is in another relationship and you want to save her from thinking she’ll die in mortal sin?
A marriage is null, only if at that moment, there were causes that prevented it from being legal. For example,
- being opened to unfaithfulness/adultery, this includes porn
- being opened to divorce and civil “re-marriage”/cohabitation with new couple
- being closed to life (opened to abortion, contraception)
- hiding something so important to the other that he/she would have cancelled the relationship or even marriage (having homosexual tendencies; drug, alcoholic or any addiction; not being a virgin, etc.)
This means that over 95% of Catholic weddings are a farce: all void, null, nothing happened, except mocking the sacrament and celebrating fornication.
The fact that you had only 2 kids, shows that most probably she used contraceptives.
For more information: f.nazar at gmail
If you want any to get married in the Church, it’s absolutely worth pursuing. Also, the first response you received is neither correct nor true. There are eight reasons upon which a finding of nullity is based. “95% of Catholic marriages” are NOT a sham.
I have friends that have been through the process, I’ve been a witness in one, and the priest who married us has served as the lead of the marriage tribunal in his archdiocese for 40 years. It’s a rigorous process as it should be.
Were you both Catholic at the time of your Marriage? Were you Married in the Catholic Church?
I know two individuals who went through the annulment process and both would agree that it was not an enjoyable process, but one would say that it was a rewarding experience when it was all done. Both were granted the annulment.
I do not know your circumstance, but I would do it. I will Pray for your situation.
It was a church wedding but neither of us were Catholic. I (just me) became Catholic much later.
Do not be discouraged by what most say to you about the anullment process. It may seem “rigorous”, however be open to the healing power this opportunity allows. This is what a dear priest friend and Tribunal Counselor, Fr. Joe Mills, advised me to do.
Also…. There comes a time when a marriage is not blossoming or growing as God intended. It can be “salvaged” or “saved” if both are willing… but both need to be willing… if not, then an adult decision must be made, especially when children are involved…. Dear lawyer friend and judge, John McCarty… advised
Is there any chance of reconciling your marriage? Seeking reconciliation just for the kids sake is not what I am talking about… but for both you and spouse’s sake… at this point, “church” has nothing to with the two of you… Holy Mother the Church is here help heal you both… and move both towards peace…. But!… are you both willing to reconcile?
How often do you both prayer together? Or for each other? Or even ask one another to pray for a special intention?
Are you both in the relationship for the “long haul”? If so, start working on reconciling… rekindling the spark… you know that “twinkle” you both had for no one else… this time include God… ask God to bless your union TOGETHER…
If not, ask God to help you be the best faith filled parent and supporter…
God bless DCM and your family…keep seeking the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIGHT
No, been divorced for over 20 years. But she’s still alive which is why I sometimes think about annulment so that I could remarry.
It may or may not be a rigorous process. The reality of a submitting a petition to a marriage tribunal is all cases are unique. The facts of each case has to be considered to make a determination, first, of what type of case it is, and second, what the process will be going forward.
The only person who will be able to give you specific answers in your situation is your priest or whoever he assigns as your advocate. You can receive some general information on forums like this, but often it is not 100% correct. I’ve been through the process myself, helped my husband through the process prior to our marriage, and was at one time, trained as an advocate. My best advice is to make an appointment to speak to your priest about the process.
The validity of a marriage relies on the ability to give fully informed consent to the marriage. There are many things that prevent one’s ability to give consent at the time the vows were spoken. Nothing that happened after the marriage will make a valid marriage invalid. It all goes back to giving consent when your vows were exchanged.
So after thinking about this, I really should not have posted this as a topic. I have realized that in doing so, I’m trying to put down the cross that is mine to carry - and that’s not right.
I need to carry this cross, remain chaste, and stop complaining about it.
Thank you all for your thoughts.
Talk to a priest about this, after just a few questions from him , he will be able to tell you what to do, and if Annulment is possible for you.
Please don’t stop investigating the possiblity of an annulment. Make an appointment with your priest and discuss the matter with him. He will be the only person who can give you specific answers to your specific situation. None of us here can do that as we do not know specifics to your marriage. Please do not think I’m asking for details; I would never ask anyone to post information like that to a public forum.
My advice for you is the same I gave a friend. Fill out the paperwork for you. Weather you turn them in is up to you and you’ll know if you want to file when you’re done. You will learn more about yourself and your marriage than you would imagine. I’ve often felt pre-canna classes could take a few notes from these questions.
I went through a civil divorce and church annulment almost 20 years ago. I was a baptized protestant and she was a “none” when we got “married” in my protestant church. During our relationship I converted to Catholicism. After many difficult events, it was my priest that finally told me that it was time to end it. He was my “lawyer” during the tribunal. I was in my mid-twenties at the time and the thought of having to remain single the rest of my life if the Tribunal didn’t grant the annulment was a very scary proposition. However, I was determined to live in according to the Church’s decision. I forget how long it took for the Tribunal to reach its decision, but she didn’t respond to any outreach so it went quicker than others. Based on your initial posting, I don’t know what grounds you would have for an annulment, but that should be discussed with your priest.
I totally agree, seek the annulment!