I have somewhat discerned that my vocation is single life. I’d like to hear from the members of this forum of what that could mean, and what God expects of me. Please if you’d be so kind as to offer a few thoughts about my vocation, I would be really grateful.
Those who join a religious order have a period of belonging before they make permanent vows. I have a friend who joined an order and decided not to make a lifelong commitment. I suppose that a similar trial period could be appropriate when discerning and choosing a single life.
Those of us with a vocation to marriage don’t have that, but in marriage preparation we were helped to discern whether we should get married and whether we had chosen the right partner.
I think a vocation of single life can be just as much of a blessing as a vocation of marriage. I’ve met a good number of lifelong single people who are very prayerful and active in their church community and in their surrounding community.
In married life, by definition, you’re devoting yourself to others (ie your family). As a single person you can devote your life to the service of others, just in a different way.
Thankfully the Bible doesn’t teach that humans are obliged to marry and procreate.
Also, it’s painfully clear in modern society that younger generations have not been taught, have not learned that a successful marriage is based on **compromise and sacrifice **. It’s giving up the self for your spouse and in addition, your children if you have them. Even good or great marriages are far from easy. They take a ton of work. Anyone who thinks otherwise will not have a successful marriage. Also, I don’t know that blindly accepting the adage, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.” in the context of having a spouse is necessarily true for everyone. The fact is, there are many people who have long marriages and then suffer the death of a spouse who are beyond devastated and never recover from the loss. Yes, great times they had, but the loss for some can be so tremendous that the adage can’t just be taken as a one-sided truth without acknowledging the consequence.
I bring this up because a person who is single as a vocation will not have the potentially devastating loss of a spouse and if they focus on serving others, the relationships they can form can be very rewarding.
I cannot answer this question.
I have thoughts about the rising number of singles in our modern culture. There is even a name for this new phenomena. Self-maxing is finding purpose in self. It is becoming more and more popular among women on social media.
And what they are finding is that they are beginning to feel more uncomfortable being around others and find comfort being alone.
I do not know if this is true of your situation, but it is something that is happening. And we can speculate if it has to do with the lockdowns or with a toxic feminist movement, which is trying to combat an equal toxic masculinity movement, but is really just the same movement.
God said, It is not good for man (meaning human beings) to be alone (Genesis 2:18).
So, weather that is a vocation to Marriage or to the Religious Life, I believe the single life is meant to be temporary and not a vocation in of itself.
We have done something similar to adulthood in our culture. There was a time when young people would become adults, putting away childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11-13). Now we have this sort of hybrid adulthood thing. And I am guilty of contributing to this myself. I don’t know if it is a result of my parents’ generation abusing adulthood, responsibility, and example? Or maybe I am trying to set the example for my children, but in doing so, become less adult like. Either way, it is a fun thought experiment.
When I approach to receive the Holy Eucharist at Mass, I Pray that in receiving Him that God’s grace may help me be a better Husband, a better Parent, and a better disciple of Jesus, whom we receive, “true food” and “true drink.”
I am not a feminist. If anything I am against it. I have a genetic disease which causes me to be sterile, I can’t conceive children whether I wish to or not. So one of the fundamental rules of a catholic marriage, openness to life, I simply cannot provide. If I got married, it would have to be a lavender marriage, which I’m pretty sure the catholic church does not approve of. I am celibate, I am 23 and still a virgin. Single life is recognized as one of the 4 vocations of the catholic faith. When this is the case, my vocation has to be either consecrated life, which I am 100% sure I cannot keep up with, or single life. I am not a man so I can’t be ordained, and I am not fertile so I cannot be married.
I’d counter the Biblical reference of an obligation to marry with what St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7. I think people who choose a prayerful single life as a vocation receive too much pressure, guilt and even shame and that most definitely should not be the case.
The single epidemic among young people today in society at large is a whole other issue and I would agree with @Cade_One that a big part of that could be selfishness, narcissism, and lack of trust, but that’s not what your issue is at all, @sisternightingale
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thank you. I don’t think I’m among that group at all either.
Without getting into your private life, I do not know what you mean by genetic disease, but infertility does not invalidate Marriage. You can still be open to life, even if you are unable to conceive. And many couples are open to life in other ways, by adopting children in need of a loving home.
My Aunt and Uncle were unable to have children of their own and so they adopted three children from South Korea with cleft palates. My cousins were abandoned by their parents, because of their birth defects and perhaps other contributing factors, but my Aunt and Uncle were able to get them the surgery that they needed and a loving home, where they were/are provided for.
One of my cousins is in the Arts, another went to Culinary School in New York and even cooked for Hillary Clinton), and their youngest brother went to school to design video games, though he is having trouble finding a job doing this where he lives.
First, good on you for remaining pure. I commend you!
Traditionally, Single Life was not one of the three vocations recognized by the Catholic Church. Single life was until recently, has been viewed as an “interim” or default state.
Continue to Pray and discern and know that God remains faithful no matter what. Let Him lead you and trust in His grace.
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Sure you can provide! It doesn’t matter what deficiencies you were born with, but it does matter that, despite your deficiencies, you remain open to procreation. And that is “providing”.