I had a young cousin who had a 6 year old child who passed away today from cancer. The cousin passed away not the child, so his daughter is orphaned now. I have prayed fervently, rosaries, chaplets, novenas, I’ve been praying for months, I promised to God and some saints, especially St. Rita of Cascia that I’d do anything if Heaven delivered him. He was in cancer hospice sleeping mostly recently. And he quietly passed away after I did my prayers yesterday. His wife was catholic but she had left the church. I had told him about Jesus and how he had saved me and he was so moved the last time they visited us and I told him I believe that Jesus can save him. I genuinely believe a seed was planted that day, because he told everybody about that story and he was so moved by it. Had he lived, he would have really converted, and his family would return to the church. But now he died an unbeliever and we can never be certain where his soul resides now, I can only hope it’s not hell especially after all of the suffering and fear he has endured. My best friend also passed away from cancer 4 years ago. I was not a christian then, nor was she, but I really believe if she lived she would have converted with me and she would have become a far better christian than anybody else. I pray for so many things but this was one of the most important prayer petitions for me, for him to be healed. Now this makes me feel like god failed me and that he won’t answer any prayers at all. Do I just stop praying novenas rosaries and chaplets and prayers in general if they are unanswered after a certain amount of time ? I heard people say pray for something 3 times, no more. Is there anything in the bible for this? Mother Mary says in every single apparition to pray ceaselessly and pray lots. I do pray everyday and I pray lots but they are unanswered. I feel so abandoned and hurt after all this. Seeing the opposite of what you are praying for hurts so much, especially when it’s death. My feelings are just so convoluted I don’t even know how to explain, I feel angry, sad, abandoned and everything all at once. Why didn’t god restore him? Why did all our prayers go unanswered?
We don’t know why God doesn’t heal all the people we ask Him to. In the Gospels, Jesus healed everyone who was brought to Him, but apparently God does not heal everyone we bring to Him in prayer. Sometimes He does. I’ve heard many stories of miraculous healings.
I’ve received Anointing of the Sick three times. The first was for cancer, more than 30 years ago. Was the cure miraculous? I don’t know, but the cancer never came back. However, I expect to die of something unless I live till Christ returns. Psalm 116:15 says that the death of His faithful ones is precious in God’s eyes. When I die, God will be happy to have me join Him. That’s my take on it.
I have seen many prayers answered, but my prayers are not just to tell God what I want, even if the things I ask for seem good to me.
I pray for health and healing, but also for wisdom, peace, joy, and holiness for myself, my wife, and others.
I pray for my enemies.
I’ll keep praying a lot. Maybe I won’t get the results I want, and maybe I won’t understand why, but I trust in God.
There are two kinds of prayers. One kind is for enhancing our material lives. All the material things that we want for enjoying the things of this world. “God give me this, god give me that.”
These people think of God as “the big amazon.com” in the sky. They think that God is their order supplier. They place their orders, and want God to fill them.
The other prayer is, “please my dear Lord, I have been wanting so many things in this material world……..things that can never satisfy my heart……..things that none of us can keep’”……
Because time takes everything away……my family, my house, my bank account, my job, my friends, my nice clothing, my health, my wealth, my social position………everything. And this is God’s arrangement. It applies to the believer and the non-believer.
If we are Christians, we need to understand what Jesus is teaching when he tells us: “Don’t seek for your fulfillment in the things of this world.” Why? Because they can’t fulfill us. Only a living relationship, in which one experiences an on-going reciprocation of love with God can fulfill the heart. Even the billionaire, keeps earning more money. Even the president wants to engage in conquering other nations. Because material desire means, “We want more, we need more..” . Why? Because nothing material can satisfy the soul.
Therefore we have to begin to pray: “Please God, please give me the wisdom to understand what love of God really means, as a living experience.” This is the kind of prayer that will never go unanswered……….if we are serious.
We are talking about love of God. Asking God for things for ourselves with the attitude: “I will worship God if He gives me what I want.”……….this is not love of God……….this is a business deal.
Love of God means: “What does God want……from us?” What will make God happy? This is the meaning of “love’“…….wanting the person we love to be happy. God wants our love. That’s why Jesus told the Jewish clergymen, that the highest spiritual rule of all religion, is that we should love God with all of our heart, all of our strength. But people don’t know that selfless love of God is the answer to all of their prayers.
When one loves God with all of his/her heart, God gives them all knowledge, so that they can understand that whatever God does, it is because He loves all of us, and it is for our best interest. When we love God, our heart becomes so happy, that we can’t contain the happiness. We only want to sing and dance and glorify the Lord. In the 23 Pslam, David writes, “My cup runneth over.” He simply can’t contain his happiness. He asks God for nothing. He is rich in his relationship with God. One becomes like Saint Francis, who left all his family riches behind and ran barefoot in the snow, glorifying God.
So this has to be understood and it has to be taught……..by the church……. Approaching God to fulfill our desires is good, in the sense that at least this is a recognition of where everything in our lives comes from. But Jesus did not teach this orientation. He taught that, “If you love God like I love God, you will be happy to give Him whatever he wants. You won’t be asking Him for anything. You won’t be telling God what you want. You will saying to God, “Not what I want, but only what You want. ‘Not my will, but Thy will be done.’ “
So we have to try to understand what Jesus is telling us, and not try to turn Christianity into the big amazon.com.
Jesus is teaching love of God. This is the essential way in which his teaching was the next step for the religion of the Jews. Jesus is teaching love of God. When a child is young he asks his parents, “I want this. I want that. Give me! Give me!” But when he grows up, he says, “Everything I have I have received from you. I have only been thinking about myself. Now, please tell me how I can increase your happiness.” This is the next step that Jesus is teaching to all of us. Because this is the only way to really become happy. “My cup runneth over.”
My heart breaks for you. Loss is hard. I lost my Dad in my twenties and it was the hardest things I have had to experience. The second was the loss of our unborn son. And of course Grandparents.
During the Christmas season, Paul J. Kim lost his little boy after he had gotten an infection from a virus. It felt like the entire internet was Praying for this little soul, but ultimately God had other plans for this little guy.
We are now hearing stories of conversions; those who are returning back to God after witnessing the faith of all who loved this child.
Sometimes we question, Did we not Pray the right way? Had we Prayed a different way, would that have swayed God’s response? This can lead one to become superstitious. Others ask, What is the point of Praying at all, if God doesn’t answer the way we want Him to? We feel foolish or duped by God in a sense. And others my ask, Did I have enough faith? Did I trust enough that God can perform a miracle?
Jesus told a parable about a woman and an unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8). The woman kept bothering the man to deliver justice and he does so, because of her persistence. Jesus says, “Will not God then secure the rights of His chosen ones who call out to Him day and night? Will He be slow to answer them? I tell you, He will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?”
When Jesus returns, will He find faith on earth? If, when we Pray, His answer is not the answer we were looking for, will we lose faith in Him? Or will we keep Praying and trusting in Him? God wants us to keep bothering Him.
So dare we hope that your Cousin and your friend might be saved? There is nothing wrong with hoping. But either way, God loves you and He loved them too.
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your worries upon Him because He cares for you.”
Philippians 4:6 say, “Do not worry, but in everything, by Prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.”
and Psalm 50:14 says, “Offer praise as your sacrifice to God; fulfill your vows to the Most High.”
A wise man in my weekly Bible Study / Prayer Group brought up the point that God is outside of time & space. We can Pray for those after they have passed and God can hear our Prayers forwards and backwards. And God can use our Prayers to not only help others, but to help us too.
When we Pray for others, it changes us. It is why Jesus told us to Pray for our enemies.
I don’t know what happens when we die. I’d like to believe that in purgatory, we will not only see all our sins and all that Christ has done for us, but also hear all the Prayers that others had Prayed for us in this life; and those we Pray for may hear all our Prayers to God for them. And that this may soften their hearts and help them to let go of all resentment, pride, greed, envy, lust, etc., and give fully of themselves to Jesus.
I know I don’t have all the answers, but I hope that something I have said here gives you peace as you Pray, “Come Holy Spirit.”
It must be so very disheartening that this has happened. My sympathies on your loss. I can ‘hear what you are saying’ because I have a close relative who called me a couple of days ago to tell me of a diagnosis that means only a short time to live. I am so dismayed but I’m having a Mass said and my priest has said that I must just keep on praying. I will do that, even though I know that sometimes God’s answer is no. I will be heartbroken if my relative indeed departs this life in a short time, but I do not know God’s plan and I hope I will have the resolution and faith to keep on praying.
You did the right thing in praying hard for your cousin. The consequences are hidden from us on earth. Please do not torment yourself by thinking of the ‘what ifs’. Your cousin was much struck by your faith & that may well have influenced him for his own good - maybe even as you kept praying he was aware of this & it helped his final state. His wife also may well return to the faith in time.
Keep on hoping and praying for your cousin & his family, and God bless and keep you.