I had a young cousin who had a 6 year old child who passed away today from cancer. The cousin passed away not the child, so his daughter is orphaned now. I have prayed fervently, rosaries, chaplets, novenas, I’ve been praying for months, I promised to God and some saints, especially St. Rita of Cascia that I’d do anything if Heaven delivered him. He was in cancer hospice sleeping mostly recently. And he quietly passed away after I did my prayers yesterday. His wife was catholic but she had left the church. I had told him about Jesus and how he had saved me and he was so moved the last time they visited us and I told him I believe that Jesus can save him. I genuinely believe a seed was planted that day, because he told everybody about that story and he was so moved by it. Had he lived, he would have really converted, and his family would return to the church. But now he died an unbeliever and we can never be certain where his soul resides now, I can only hope it’s not hell especially after all of the suffering and fear he has endured. My best friend also passed away from cancer 4 years ago. I was not a christian then, nor was she, but I really believe if she lived she would have converted with me and she would have become a far better christian than anybody else. I pray for so many things but this was one of the most important prayer petitions for me, for him to be healed. Now this makes me feel like god failed me and that he won’t answer any prayers at all. Do I just stop praying novenas rosaries and chaplets and prayers in general if they are unanswered after a certain amount of time ? I heard people say pray for something 3 times, no more. Is there anything in the bible for this? Mother Mary says in every single apparition to pray ceaselessly and pray lots. I do pray everyday and I pray lots but they are unanswered. I feel so abandoned and hurt after all this. Seeing the opposite of what you are praying for hurts so much, especially when it’s death. My feelings are just so convoluted I don’t even know how to explain, I feel angry, sad, abandoned and everything all at once. Why didn’t god restore him? Why did all our prayers go unanswered?
We don’t know why God doesn’t heal all the people we ask Him to. In the Gospels, Jesus healed everyone who was brought to Him, but apparently God does not heal everyone we bring to Him in prayer. Sometimes He does. I’ve heard many stories of miraculous healings.
I’ve received Anointing of the Sick three times. The first was for cancer, more than 30 years ago. Was the cure miraculous? I don’t know, but the cancer never came back. However, I expect to die of something unless I live till Christ returns. Psalm 116:15 says that the death of His faithful ones is precious in God’s eyes. When I die, God will be happy to have me join Him. That’s my take on it.
I have seen many prayers answered, but my prayers are not just to tell God what I want, even if the things I ask for seem good to me.
I pray for health and healing, but also for wisdom, peace, joy, and holiness for myself, my wife, and others.
I pray for my enemies.
I’ll keep praying a lot. Maybe I won’t get the results I want, and maybe I won’t understand why, but I trust in God.
There are two kinds of prayers. One kind is for enhancing our material lives. All the material things that we want for enjoying the things of this world. “God give me this, god give me that.”
These people think of God as “the big amazon.com” in the sky. They think that God is their order supplier. They place their orders, and want God to fill them.
The other prayer is, “please my dear Lord, I have been wanting so many things in this material world……..things that can never satisfy my heart……..things that none of us can keep’”……
Because time takes everything away……my family, my house, my bank account, my job, my friends, my nice clothing, my health, my wealth, my social position………everything. And this is God’s arrangement. It applies to the believer and the non-believer.
If we are Christians, we need to understand what Jesus is teaching when he tells us: “Don’t seek for your fulfillment in the things of this world.” Why? Because they can’t fulfill us. Only a living relationship, in which one experiences an on-going reciprocation of love with God can fulfill the heart. Even the billionaire, keeps earning more money. Even the president wants to engage in conquering other nations. Because material desire means, “We want more, we need more..” . Why? Because nothing material can satisfy the soul.
Therefore we have to begin to pray: “Please God, please give me the wisdom to understand what love of God really means, as a living experience.” This is the kind of prayer that will never go unanswered……….if we are serious.
We are talking about love of God. Asking God for things for ourselves with the attitude: “I will worship God if He gives me what I want.”……….this is not love of God……….this is a business deal.
Love of God means: “What does God want……from us?” What will make God happy? This is the meaning of “love’“…….wanting the person we love to be happy. God wants our love. That’s why Jesus told the Jewish clergymen, that the highest spiritual rule of all religion, is that we should love God with all of our heart, all of our strength. But people don’t know that selfless love of God is the answer to all of their prayers.
When one loves God with all of his/her heart, God gives them all knowledge, so that they can understand that whatever God does, it is because He loves all of us, and it is for our best interest. When we love God, our heart becomes so happy, that we can’t contain the happiness. We only want to sing and dance and glorify the Lord. In the 23 Pslam, David writes, “My cup runneth over.” He simply can’t contain his happiness. He asks God for nothing. He is rich in his relationship with God. One becomes like Saint Francis, who left all his family riches behind and ran barefoot in the snow, glorifying God.
So this has to be understood and it has to be taught……..by the church……. Approaching God to fulfill our desires is good, in the sense that at least this is a recognition of where everything in our lives comes from. But Jesus did not teach this orientation. He taught that, “If you love God like I love God, you will be happy to give Him whatever he wants. You won’t be asking Him for anything. You won’t be telling God what you want. You will saying to God, “Not what I want, but only what You want. ‘Not my will, but Thy will be done.’ “
So we have to try to understand what Jesus is telling us, and not try to turn Christianity into the big amazon.com.
Jesus is teaching love of God. This is the essential way in which his teaching was the next step for the religion of the Jews. Jesus is teaching love of God. When a child is young he asks his parents, “I want this. I want that. Give me! Give me!” But when he grows up, he says, “Everything I have I have received from you. I have only been thinking about myself. Now, please tell me how I can increase your happiness.” This is the next step that Jesus is teaching to all of us. Because this is the only way to really become happy. “My cup runneth over.”
My heart breaks for you. Loss is hard. I lost my Dad in my twenties and it was the hardest things I have had to experience. The second was the loss of our unborn son. And of course Grandparents.
During the Christmas season, Paul J. Kim lost his little boy after he had gotten an infection from a virus. It felt like the entire internet was Praying for this little soul, but ultimately God had other plans for this little guy.
We are now hearing stories of conversions; those who are returning back to God after witnessing the faith of all who loved this child.
Sometimes we question, Did we not Pray the right way? Had we Prayed a different way, would that have swayed God’s response? This can lead one to become superstitious. Others ask, What is the point of Praying at all, if God doesn’t answer the way we want Him to? We feel foolish or duped by God in a sense. And others my ask, Did I have enough faith? Did I trust enough that God can perform a miracle?
Jesus told a parable about a woman and an unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8). The woman kept bothering the man to deliver justice and he does so, because of her persistence. Jesus says, “Will not God then secure the rights of His chosen ones who call out to Him day and night? Will He be slow to answer them? I tell you, He will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?”
When Jesus returns, will He find faith on earth? If, when we Pray, His answer is not the answer we were looking for, will we lose faith in Him? Or will we keep Praying and trusting in Him? God wants us to keep bothering Him.
So dare we hope that your Cousin and your friend might be saved? There is nothing wrong with hoping. But either way, God loves you and He loved them too.
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your worries upon Him because He cares for you.”
Philippians 4:6 say, “Do not worry, but in everything, by Prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.”
and Psalm 50:14 says, “Offer praise as your sacrifice to God; fulfill your vows to the Most High.”
A wise man in my weekly Bible Study / Prayer Group brought up the point that God is outside of time & space. We can Pray for those after they have passed and God can hear our Prayers forwards and backwards. And God can use our Prayers to not only help others, but to help us too.
When we Pray for others, it changes us. It is why Jesus told us to Pray for our enemies.
I don’t know what happens when we die. I’d like to believe that in purgatory, we will not only see all our sins and all that Christ has done for us, but also hear all the Prayers that others had Prayed for us in this life; and those we Pray for may hear all our Prayers to God for them. And that this may soften their hearts and help them to let go of all resentment, pride, greed, envy, lust, etc., and give fully of themselves to Jesus.
I know I don’t have all the answers, but I hope that something I have said here gives you peace as you Pray, “Come Holy Spirit.”
It must be so very disheartening that this has happened. My sympathies on your loss. I can ‘hear what you are saying’ because I have a close relative who called me a couple of days ago to tell me of a diagnosis that means only a short time to live. I am so dismayed but I’m having a Mass said and my priest has said that I must just keep on praying. I will do that, even though I know that sometimes God’s answer is no. I will be heartbroken if my relative indeed departs this life in a short time, but I do not know God’s plan and I hope I will have the resolution and faith to keep on praying.
You did the right thing in praying hard for your cousin. The consequences are hidden from us on earth. Please do not torment yourself by thinking of the ‘what ifs’. Your cousin was much struck by your faith & that may well have influenced him for his own good - maybe even as you kept praying he was aware of this & it helped his final state. His wife also may well return to the faith in time.
Keep on hoping and praying for your cousin & his family, and God bless and keep you.
First, you are in my prayers.
There really is no easy answer for you, I wish there was. However, I think we too often forget how Our Lord finished his prayer during his agony namely, “ Your Will be done”. Tough words to live by.
I’m sorry but I’m finding it difficult not to find this reply as being very dismissive and cold-hearted… Are you saying that we thought of God as some genie in the sky that fulfills orders because we asked him to heal someone who was very sick and dying, and shouldn’t have done that?? Jesus did that everyday during his ministry… we asked for healing and forgiveness of sins not a billion dollars
Sing, laugh and praise the Lord. And be a good neighbor. I think aslong as you do that, then no harm will come to you.
God bless you
Dear Sister Nightingale,
I understand your feelings. I would like to explain my understanding to you. If you cannot accept what I consider to be the truth, I will only ask you to forgive me. I do not wish to hurt or upset anyone. I am only hoping to share my understanding.
Our real home is the spiritual world. The Bible speaks of “The Garden of Eden”. There is no such garden on our planet. According to the scriptures that I try to follow, all of us here in the material world are fallen angels. I believe Jesus tells us not to seek our happiness in the material world, because our real fulfillment is in heaven.
I agree that Jesus healed many people. He did other miracles as well. But my understanding is that he did these things, not because this would give these people eternal lives, but he did these things to create faith in people’s hearts. Doctors also heal people, but all these people that are healed by doctors…….they will all die. Similarly, the people Jesus healed of material diseases…..they have all died.
My understanding is that Jesus is not speaking about making our life on earth nicer, more successful, more healthy, more weathy. He even says that a wealthy person cannot enter the spiritual world. Jesus says that is is harder for a wealthy person to know God than it is to pass a camel through the eye of a needle. Jesus also says that he didn’t come to make our family lives pleasant. He says that he came to tear the family apart so that he could take that one family member with him who could really follow his teachings.
In other words, Jesus is not talking about making our lives on earth nice. He is talking about leaving it all behind, and qualifying ourselves for returning to the spiritual world, which is our real home. This is my understanding.
And that qualification is one. One only. The qualification for returning to the spiritual world is to have so much love in our hearts for God…….that all of our desires for life in the material world simply evaporate. Jesus says in the Bible, when talking with the Jewish clergymen. They asked him “What is the highest religious principle? And Jesus answered, saying “The highest rule is to love the Lord thy God with all of our mind, all of our heart, all of our strength.” This is the highest rule, because as long as we still have desires in our heart for material happiness, we cannot enter the spiritual realm. Therefore Jesus tells us, in his Sermon on the Mount, that we have to make a choice between God and Mammon. “Mammon” refers to the things of this world. We have to understand this clearly.
In summary, Jesus instructs us, 1)that our real happiness is not to be found in this world. 2. We have to love God with all of our heart, all of our strength. 3. People who are materially properous and who are attached to such things cannot enter God’s kingdom. 4. We have to make a definitive choice between “mammon”, which means material happiness, and exclusive love of God. This is my understanding of what Jesus is teaching.
Every scripture, be it the Bible, the Koran, or the Bhagavad-gita which is spoken by Krishna, tells us that we are not these temporal material bodies. We are eternal spirit souls. Krishna says that when the body becomes old and diseased, the eternal spirit has to depart, has to leave it behind. Krishna says that if our hearts still have material desires for the things of this world when we die, we are given the opportunity to return here. But if our hearts are filled with love of God, we will enter God’s kingdom for eternal life in the spiritual world. It is for this reason that Jesus tells us definitively that we have to choose between God and Mammon.
The relatives that we have in this world, their bodies will all die. It is only a question of time. But as spirit souls within these bodies, we are eternal. We can never die. Therefore in Bhagavad-gita, Krishna says, “The wise person laments neither for the living nor for the dead.”
We are all recieving good or bad fortune, according to how we are living, or how we have lived in previous lifetimes on earth. The Bible refers to this as “sewing and reaping.” This sewing and reaping is God’s law. Therefore one person is born as the child of a drug addict. Another is born to be an olympic athlete. Another is born as a prince in a castle, with servants. Another is born crippled, or ugly. God’s loves all of us equally. But we are punished and rewarded according to the lives we lead. That is God’s law.
When Jesus heals someone, he says, “Go now, and sin no more.” He says this because if we sin we create more suffering for ourselves. Our sins come back upon us in this world. This is “sewing and reaping”. This is God’s law. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is not a sentiment……..It is a warning.
No one dies. We simply leave our bodies behind. Just like when our car or truck stops working, we leave the vehicle behind us, and get another vehicle. The driver is still alive. This material body is the vehicle of the spirit soul, When we live in the material world. It is not made for enjoyment; God, makes it for our suffering. This is what God said to Adam and Eve when He exiled them from the Garden of Eden. “You have chosen a life independent of My authority, My pleasure. Now you must leave, and live in the material creation, where you will have to toil very hard, and earn your livlihood by the sweat of your brow.” Now we are here. You and me. We are here. The difficulties are endless. Diseases, old age, and death. Wars, volcanoes, tidal waves that cover cities, earthquakes, exploitation, slavery, and plagues. None of this is by accident. God is in control. There is one hymn, “He’s got the whole world in His hands.” We have to believe and accept this. “Not a blade of grass moves in this world, except by the will of the Lord.”
Therefore if one is healthy, this is the will of the Lord. And if one is sick, this is the will of the Lord. If one is rich, this is His will. And if one is poor, this is His will. Only a person who truly believes in God can accept that the life we have, and all that happens in our lives…….is God’s will.
We have to understand that life in this material world is not for our enjoyment. It is for our redemption. It is to break down our spirit of independence. We are all rebellious, like Adam and Eve. All of us are sinful.
There is only one sin. Our sin is that we seek our own pleasure and satisifaction, instead of seeking the pleasure of God with every thought, word, and deed. It is from this self-centered orientation ………that all the other sins of this world expand.
The difficulties that we experience in this world are for our benefit. We are in spiritual therapy…..just like a person in prison. The difficulties are to cause us to admit that we are disappointed, that we are scared, that no insurance policy is enough to protect us from life’s unending disappointments. God has arranged all of this because He loves us and wants us to return to our real home. He has put us here, in difficulty, where we work like beasts of burden and are “heavy laden”. And He sends His son, Jesus, to tell us, “All of you who are “heavy laden”, give up this way of life, and accept the the yoke that I bear.” What is that yoke? That yoke is the demeanor of the heart in which our every thought, word and deed is only for the pleasure of God. The ultimate reward is that one whose heart is filled with love of God……they become more happy than any of us. We call them “saints”. They are not interested in anything in this world……..other than to feel this love of God.
What are these family arrangements? What are our business arrangements? Friendship arrangements? Health arrangements? Security arrangements? Financial arrangements? Marriage arrangments? They are all destined to be ripped apart, torn apart, by the laws of the material nature, that works under God’s supervision. We cannot keep anything, no matter how hard we try. Even the wealthiest man on the planet cannnot take one penny with him when his body must be left behind. Therefore if we have not devoted our lives to the cultivation of our eternal realtionship with God…….all of our hard work, our homes, our families, our gold medals, ….. it has all been a waste of time. We have wasted the opportunity that God has given us.
Therefore I am saying that when we think of God as someone who exists in heaven for making our material lives nice, by granting our prayers for health, wealth, and for realtives that we cannot keep……..this is a misunderstanding of the spiritual life that Jesus came to teach. God is not there for us to place our orders (like on amazon.com), so that He can fullfill them. God is giving us a us a chance to give up our self-centered desires, desires for happiness in the material world, and to open our hearts to Him with unconditional love, so that we can qualify for entering the spiritual world, from which we have been banished, because or our spirit of independence. We are all of us, me included, “prodigal sons and daughters” of the Supreme Lord. And He is so kind and so loving, that He is giving us a chance to return to our eternal home.
This is my understanding and my faith. I am sorry if my words have caused you any discomfort. I am only wishing to share with you, and anyone else, who may be willing to consider, that according to my understanding, this is the essence of what Jesus wishes to share with us.
I hope you are well, and happy in your heartfelt of love for jesus. Please also pray for me in this way.
Peter