Is it possible for a single woman to have just a friendship with a single male friend.
Of course it depends on the people involved, but I immediately thought of the friendship between St Francis and St Clare.
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I’m 42 and yes I have male friend that is just my friend. My husband knows him and has met him.
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Definitely.
I (single 36M) have a number of single platonic female friends.
[I assume it is a typo above and you don’t mean a friend who is a) a cartoon dog; b) a Roman god of the underworld; or c) a former planet orbiting past Neptune]
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It definitely was a typo lol.
Thanks for pointing that out
While I am not single in the conventional way, I would say the answer is yes.
One of my best friends is a single woman.
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I have joined this Forum to grow spiritually and I am open to fellowship and discussion which will assist in drawing us closer to the Lord Jesus.
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I think it’s possible, but depending on the circumstance is often not probable. My experience and what seems to bear out in general is that women nearly always believe that it’s possible for a man and woman (or two teens) to have a mutually platonic friendship when most men if honest would admit it’s not. A woman who “Friend-zones” a guy is establishing a preventative boundary, with the implication that the man, had he the choice, would have/would pursue a romantic relationship with her. This example would apply to singles, but married platonic friends might not necessarily be immune to something similar (ie temptation, etc).
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Even though I gave an affirmative answer to the original post’s question, I think your cautions @Pax deserve consideration. It is certainly true that the relationship can be perceived in different ways and that temptations are likely to present themselves.
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This is always an intriguing question, but I personally think it would benefit everyone if it was reworded somewhat. What might be more transparent is, “Is it possible for a single woman to have a friendship with a single male without any sexual tension or desire occurring between them?”
Now, if that is in fact an accurate rewording of your original inquiry, it’s important to acknowledge a few key factors as they relate to what we are.
First and foremost, we’re animals, and the majority of animals that exist on this planet want to procreate in some way. Perhaps for utility, perhaps for pleasure, or perhaps for a combination of both reasons, but the fact remains. We have reproductive organs, and it’s usually impossible for us to go through life without wanting to use them at some point for their intended purpose.
Those facts mean that it’s almost impossible for a single woman and a single man to have a friendship without sexual tension or desire.
However, that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for that same friendship to be worthwhile and rewarding.
Thankfully, sexual tension and desire are things that can be controlled. A man can admit to himself that he has considered the idea of seducing and having sex with a female friend, whether consciously or not (such as in a dream), and also make the decision to not follow through on those thoughts.
Likewise, a woman can admit to herself that she’s had the fantasy of being with a male friend of hers sexually, either consciously or otherwise or brief or prolonged, and make the decision not to follow through on such thoughts.
Healthy relationships of any kind are built on pillars of trust, but not strictly trust in others. We also have to train and trust ourselves to build and utilize discipline when necessary through this beautiful and puzzling thing called life.
We’re not perfect creatures, another fact that lends weight to the conclusion that it’s almost impossible for men and women to exist in any capacity without sexual tension and desire.
There are always exceptions, such as those where one party is tragically hideous, disfigured, disabled, or otherwise usually excluded from what’s considered normally attractive and worth pursuing according to our biological imperatives. But even then, there’s always the exception to the exception: men and women who are willing to ignore those undesirable traits (or even find them attractive) and pursue anyway.
My point is that it’s not a bad or disappointing thing that men and women will always have sexual desires for one another. It’s natural and expected.
What’s more important is understanding how disciplined the friends that you have are. That one word will ultimately test the integrity of your relationship.