How do I handle my priest lying to me?

General
1

Hello All,

Saturday evening, before mass, I asked our Nigerian priest that since Veteran’s Day is this week that he recognize veterans at the end of mass, and give us veterans a blessing. He replied that he would.

HE DID NOT!!!

I approached him after mass and asked what happened and he said that he forgot and that he would do a blessing at the masses on Sunday.

Again, he did not!!!

I was at church for all three masses on Sunday and no mention was made.

In the past, he has not blessed veterans to my knowledge and I asked him this time because he is Nigerian and maybe he doesn’t understand the value of veterans and what they have sacrificed for this country, even though he went to seminary 25 years ago in the United States & is an American citizen.

My wife and I plan on meeting with him this week to voice our concerns and tell him how upset we are.

I spoke to other veterans on Sunday and they were also upset that no recognition nor blessing was given

Besides the disrespect given to veterans and being lied to by my priest, it galls me that our church never forgets to ask for money.

Any advice?

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I would say bring it up to your Diocese and let them handle it, but chances are they won’t. They’ve let pedophiles get away with fondling little kids, so, there goes that idea out the window.

Honestly….just go to different Churches and find a Church that resonates with your values. A good Priest is one that will listen to you and take what you say to heart. I’m not saying your Nigerian Priest is bad, and it’s possible to that he doesn’t quite innerstand the value of what a veteran has done for our country, but he should’ve taken your request seriously.

Good luck man. Sorry this has happened to you.

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ES,

Thanks for the reply.

Leaving for another church would be difficult because seven of our grandchildren go to church there and friends that we’ve had for over 40 years also attend.

When we meet with him, his attitude will determine whether I contact our Bishop.

Ignatius

Unfortunately,

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I don’t think it’s fair to conclude that he lied—that is, intentionally deceived you or said yes with no real intention to do it. He may have truly forgotten, even forgotten twice. Besides all his routine responsibilities, he may get a lot of requests for extra things for him to do. Maybe he really wants to say yes to everyone but doesn’t remember everything he has said yes to.

I suggest that if you meet with him you begin by saying thank you for what he has done. Then give him a short explanation of why a blessing for veterans would mean much to you and ask how to get it added to the end of Mass on the Sunday closest to Veterans Day each year. Even then it may get overlooked, so you might ask what is a good way to remind him next November or in May for Memorial Day.

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I know that my suggested answer won’t be easy to consider or accept…….but maybe it will expand our way of thinking. The basic teaching of all religion is that we are eternal spirit souls. Whereas this material body, is “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”. The body is the vehicle of the soul. It has a “useful life” and then ……… compost. But we are eternal …………whether we go to heaven or to hell. Therefore the first axiomatic principle of spiritual life is, “We are not these material bodies. We are spirit.” Material nature is never alive, never conscious. It is dead matter. And spirit cannot die. It is eternal and conscious. However, when a spirit is inside a a material body, the body runs around. And the consciousness of the spirit identifies with the body and the material senses. Then one acquires the conviction that I can be happy if I can arrange to satisfy my body. The saints, who are closer to God, are blessed with the understanding, with the revelation, that “I am not this body”. Therefore they become detached from the pursuit of material pleasures, sex, etc. They are not austere; they are enlightened.

So the body is born in America, or Germany, or Russia, or Nigeria. Therefore a man who identifies with the body as “me”, he feels that “I am American, I am German, I am Russian, I am Nigerian.” But one who understands that I am not this body, he has no sense of nationality, no sense of gender, no sense of race. Because the body is like a halloween costume only…..a temporal identity, a material designation.

Under God, we are all one family, regardless of where the body was born, which race our body is, etc., etc. All this fighting in the name of nationality is usually because the people who run the country have imperialistic visions and want to exploit the resources of other countries. So, in the name of patriotism they send their young people off to get killed. And then they put their names on a wall somewhere. The whole thing is usually a scam. The big man sits behind a desk and sends everyone else off to get killed.

There were armies when Jesus was walking on this planet. Jesus didn’t preach that we should join them. He led a different kind of army, and army marching towards God. All of this nationality and patriotism stuff comes under the heading of hegemony, where the citizens are exploited for fulfilling the ambitions of the madmen who run the countries. This is the nature of life in the material world. Better to be like Daniel who was put into a cage with lions when they want to send us off to war.

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Peace to all,

Logically Romans written by Saint Paul is from the Family of God the Father through the Mother for the Son becoming the Christ in all mankind becoming again One Holy Spirit Family One God in being.

The power of the priest is to glorify and transform from sacrifice through penance, forgiven in the words of absolution from confession transfiguration becoming again in all one family, I believe,

Rationally, the Mind of God wants an immortal body becoming through fulfilled love becoming again one family.

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Peace always,
Stephen

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Hi dear Stephen! Always nice to hear your words. I cannot understand some of what you say, because of your way of expressing your heart. But I appreciate your sincerity and trust. with gratitude, Peter

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I spoke to my Nigerian priest today & he said that he simply forgot the Veteran’s blessing on both Saturday & Sunday.

I told him that many of us veterans were hurt that he “forgot” & that he has “forgotten” since he arrived 8 years ago. He said that he has always blessed veterans on the weekend before Veteran’s Day. Unfortunately, I canvassed a few Veterans and they confirmed my recollection that he has never blessed us.

So for now, I’ll just plan on being an active player in next year’s blessing & kiss this up to a bad memory or just the fact that our parish is full of Lefties that he doesn’t want to offend with a veteran’s blessing

He assured me that it will not be overlooked next year. I assured him that I will not let him “forget” next year.

Next year, I’ll wear my patriotic shirt again and stand up at the end of mass if he forgets and say “how about a veterans blessing?”:grinning_face:

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Even if the priest did honestly forget to mention Veterans all of those times, it’s not a valid excuse going forward for him. He’s an adult. Priests write notes to themselves all the time. How else do they remember the names of the people that Masses are said for? Priests are always writing notes to themselves about things they need to remember to say at announcements. Post-its are a thing. So…it’s his responsibility to do what is necessary for him to remember to bless Veterans.

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Totally Agree!!!

They never forget to ask for money or to say what the second collection is for.

Years ago, we had a priest who said that he would only have two second collections a year and that’s what he did.

Now, three out of four weekends we have a second collection.

Ignatius.

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I’m assuming he gave the final blessing at the end of mass, which includes everyone in attendance. There is no need to single out veterans. As a veteran myself I don’t want recognition

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Veterans are simply the pons on the chess board of politicians who don’t care about any of us. Almost all of their wars are about financial profits and extension of power. Imperialism. Slave trade. If the corporations within a country have investments in another country, or want to establish investments in another country, the government serves these corporate interests by sending young men to fight and die, so that the corporations can become more wealthy. Then government may erect a monument indicating a degree of recognition……and then goes back to business and usual. T

The priest is simply another man, like you and me. He becomes a priest because he wants to become closer to God. But that is not an easy job. One has to want it with all of his living strength. He tries to do his job. Some of them become alcoholics. Some become pedophiles. Some try to encourage us and try to remain encouraged themselves. And most understand very well, what they can say, and what they cannot say, because of political pressures both from inside and outside the church.

If you want to hold a ceremony in remembrance of those who have given their lives because they are thinking they are serving their nation, do it yourself. Invite people who are in sympathy with your point of view. Open your Bible. Say some good words.
Veteran’s day is simply a scam held by the governments to make the people feel that somebody cares. But they don’t care. If they cared, they would not send young men off to fight for the economic interests of the wealthy class.
Sometimes war is necessary……to stop mad men like Hitler or Netanyahu. But usually it is about imperialism, the desire to exploit another nation……and suppress the nationals who object. And the other countries of the earth, they stand by and watch…….until their own interests become threatened.

To go and fight in a war…….to kill other human beings, face to face…..the best thing any of us can do, on all sides, is to say to the president or prime minister, “No more war. If you want a war, be a real leader, go yourself to the front lines. Send your women and your children. We are staying home.” If everyone on both sides took that position, there would be no more need for “Veterans Days”.

Of course what I am saying does not cover all the circumstances. Sometimes we have to fight to stay alive, to protect our families, our nation, or even other defenseless people of the earth.
But we have to understand that the priest doesn’t come down to us from heaven. He’s just a man, who wants to be closer to God, in a very complicated world. You can hold a meeting, and invite your friends. People do these things. That’s how movements get started.

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Or maybe he is a Nigerian scammer ; ) Just kidding. I’m glad that you were able to address the issue and I hope that next year, it will be the best veteran blessing he has ever done : )

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It’s not the recognition for veterans on a personal level. I believe that it is a good example to our youth and our church that we have veterans in our community .

I do not have an ego that needs to be recognized.

Our church recognizes mothers, fathers, grandparents, police officers, nurses and teachers, I would think that veterans should be recognized also.

God Bless,

Ignatius

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You had me agree with you until you said lefties. Politics has no place in religion. You could call the church secretary and ask her to put something in the weekly church handouts. You could even volunteer to say a blessing for veterans yourself. Blessing veterans doesn’t sound like your priest has something against veterans. My father was a veteran. He passed away in the Veterans hospital in our hometown. At his funeral they put his Cold War veteran cap on the altar along with his cane and nobody mentioned his tours of duty. But yes, I think accusing him of something without any actual proof or facts is not enough to justify your statement about the lefties. Jesus Christ was a liberal and not a hateful judge of character.

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Elisa,

The Catholic Church has always been political.

Just look at the hundreds of millions of dollars that it took from the Biden administration under the pretense of helping illegal aliens. That’s quite political in my book.

Ignatius

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And yet people still support Catholicism…..strange world we live in….

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Do you have a link to what you’re talking about? Pretense? I’m very concerned with the amount of illegal immigrants. I’m ethnically 12 different ethnicities. I’m ethnically Sephardic Jewish. But our ancestors converted to Catholicism many centuries ago. I researched my family crest in Spain and we are only a few who were able to keep the Star of David on our crest. Because my father’s surname was not able to add a letter Z to the name. Like Lopes and Peres were forced to. I’m Scottish, Irish, French and Portuguese , Greek and it really just looks like we had no real home and just hopped around the map. But as a Western European, I know that this country is for the people who wanted a home. Democrats are accused of being too liberal, too radical, too left to giving! We are only following Jesus’s example?! America is not for one race, one shade of color , one opinion and no King. But if I’m honest, we’re thinking about leaving the United States. My husband retires very soon and we have no desire to live under a dictatorship. Freedom to choose, freedom to decide for myself and hopefully help my fellow people. But I’m going to make an appointment tomorrow with my priest, for as soon as possible. If he feels like I’m too, open minded then I will leave the church. But I’ll never stop praying with my rosary and I will never forget that I just evolved from the catholic faith. I enjoyed my faith but I know how to draw a line between faith and facts. I really did not know that this forum would prove that I don’t belong here anymore. Even King Charles the second converted from his death bed. The whole king Henry and the Church of England was because he was in blue ball hell. Take care Ignacio! That’s your Spanish version of your name. :folded_hands:

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And how the Catholic and Lutheran Church were the biggest receivers of the Covid money. I believe they should give it back. Nothing from the government is free. There are always strings attached! In our case, they were payed to shut down during a time when people needed God! Our Bishops were cowards!

We have Saints (who were Priests) who were not afraid of leprosy. And they died of leprosy, but they will be rewarded for being church for those who had been socially distanced from society. No our Priests. Some good Priests were there for their flock in secret, but most Priests, cowards.

Our young Priest resigned after failing during Covid. I would have preferred he simply repent, rather than leaving the Priesthood and becoming a travel agent. He abandoned us. Coward.