Well, I’m an ex-Catholic, and you seem to be at least interested in Catholicism. My goal, for everyone, not just you, but for everyone to think for themselves.
Look, I will never tell someone that religion isn’t helping someone. That would be just a really ignorant thing to tell someone. Because, religion does help some people, it’s helped my Mother become a better person. But, I would be lying to people if I didn’t say that I don’t have any doubts about that religion, because I do. In fact, it was because this religion put so much doubt in my head, that I couldn’t be a part of it anymore. It got so bad to where my mindset was “I’m going to hell. It doesn’t matter what good I do, or even bad for that matter, because I’m just destined for hell.” And, it kind of messed me up to where, doing the right thing became painful. Yeah, the other person I was helping said thank you to me and really appreciated me helping them. But if I’m being honest with you, it got to a point where, it didn’t matter how many times someone said “Thank you for helping me.” I personally felt like it was pointless. Because I honestly thought I was going to hell.
Religion didn’t help me at all. In fact, religion only compounded my problems. I walked around feeling like a P.O.S., and the funny thing is, I wasn’t committing crimes or anything. I don’t even have a criminal record. But I honestly felt that there was no saving me, that I was beyond saving and that to continue living was an existential joke.
So what did I do? I questioned every single thing I was taught. Even concepts I was taught in school, I questioned. Because…to me, there’s more to life than thinking every d*mn second I’m going to hell. So I questioned everything. I literally would sit with information that didn’t bode well with me, and I asked myself why I felt the way I did. And once I questioned everything enough to where I finally did get an answer, it was like my reality completely changed, and really for the better ya know?
Once you question everything you’ve been taught, not just by your parents but by your teachers as well, it’s like reality takes on a whole new meaning. Now there’s a lot I had to do to get to this point. I had to throw out any bias that I had towards anything. I had to get rid of any limiting beliefs that I had, and instead, what I did was I simply just observed. Instead of looking at something and labeling it “right” or “wrong” instead, I was the observer and I just wanted to get to know my subject better.
Now, use some common sense, if someone is pointing a gun to someone’s head, I would hope you would stand between the gunmen and the victim and be willing to risk your physical life for someone, while trying to call 911. I do not advocate for breaking the law, AT ALL! But anything that didn’t break the law, instead of giving it a label, I just sat back and observed. Instead of assuming something was good, or assuming something was bad, that’s not related to breaking the law, instead I went in with the mindset of “What can I learn from this?” So I became the observer, and after about a year or 2, I found out that some of the things people label as evil is kind of misguided. Same thing with someone labeling something as good. Not everything that is good on the surface is truly good, and not everything that is bad on the surface is truly bad. But very seldom does anyone care to actually get to know something.
I mean, I can give you examples of how many times I was judged as a creeper, when literally I was an average Joe. Ok, so I grew up with a stutter, and a lot of people thought of me as retarded when, I was the quite the opposite. I would get good grades. But I constantly felt like I didn’t belong, and that’s because the truth is, I’m not supposed to belong anywhere. I have an alien soul. When I was born in this hueman body, I never could quite innerstand the mindset of people who were my age growing up. They seemed to take pleasure in making others feel like crap, and I never innerstood how you can be friends with someone who is constantly making you feel like crap. I can’t tell you how many times I overheard conversations where a girl is saying “Yeah, he’s an a**hole, but in order for me to fit in, I have to learn how to deal with him.” I mean…it sounds like a line from a movie, but people actually said stuff like this. It’s like their value depended on how popular they were, and that always rubbed me the wrong way.
But anyways, so basically I did what most people would never do and I literally sat down and challenged my own beliefs. And through research, through careful observation, and even a few supernatural experiences that I’ve had, I feel like I finally know what is really true. If anything, I must be on to something, cause honestly, all I want is the truth. I don’t want anyone to sugarcoat anything, cause in my view that doesn’t help anyone. I want the truth, and even to this day there are certain things that I’m trying to figure out, but I ‘ve found that when you seek for the answers yourself, and literally get rid of all your biases, all your preconceptions, and just take every situation as a learning experience, you find out about things that most people would never even want to touch or even try to innerstand. And that’s because we’ve been programmed since birth, to not question everything. And, there’s nothing more dangerous than a closed mind. Cause when you close your mind, you’re not allowing yourself to think outside of your own worldview, because for many people that takes skill, and it’s because we were told to basically shut up, sit down, be given information about a particular subject, and be expected to regurgitate what is taught to us back to teachers and depending on how well we know the subject matter, will depend on what grade you’re going to get.
But see…we were taught what to think, but we were NEVER taught how to think. And, the thing of it is, it’s not a hard thing to do. Yes, there is a little bit of trauma involved, cause you’re basically opening your mind to a few things that aren’t considered “popular” or “status quo” to think about. But, when you see something for what it really is…..labels don’t really mean anything anymore. See, people treat eachother like they’re soup cans, but we’re huemans….and huemans don’t come with a label. But when you put a label on something, you’re assuming something that may or may not be fully true. But you won’t know the actual truth till you get to know what it is your observing. Because if you see something for what it truly is, you find out that there’s no really no need for labels. And again, if something is illegal or against the law, there should be consequences for those actions, cause we don’t need someone getting away with murder or rape or whatever crazy thing that could happen. But to label anyone as “good” or “bad” is honestly, not true, or not fully true anyway. In fact, most huemans are a combination of good and bad. It’s not like Galinda saying “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” What an odd question to ask. Every hueman on this planet is a combination of both. Sure someone could show more of their bad side than good, and vice-versa, but no one is 100% good and 100% bad, everyone just shows varying degrees of both.
So, in saying all of that, think about what you just said about eating the Eucharist. I’m not going to tell you my thoughts about it, because more than likely, I’m probably on a different Spiritual trajectory than you are. And that’s ok, we’re not going to agree on everything. But I want you to go to a room and speak this phrase that you quoted from The Bible:
I want you to think about what you just said. Just give what you said some time. If what you said is something you truly believe, than that particular idea is for you. But if there’s something about what you said that seems a little odd or weird, question it. I could tell you what it is I think, but I’m not going to do that to you. Instead, you have to figure this out for yourself. I can give you my answer, but the answer really has to come from you and no one else. This is how you’re supposed to learn, and this is how you should’ve learned. Read that phrase and think about what it is you’re saying. If you don’t see anything weird or don’t feel weirded out by that phrase, than that phrase has value for you. That phrase is important for you. But if you feel, even just a little uncomfortable, or wondering why Jesus would say something like that, there’s something about that phrase that’s making you feel uncomfortable.
Just sit with it. If you find nothing really weird or wrong about that phrase, then obviously that line of thinking is for you. But, if you have doubts about that particular phrase, instead of throwing your doubts to the side, instead face your doubts. Ask yourself why this phrase sounds strange to you. Why are you feeling that? Could it be that there’s something off about that particular phrase which causes you to question it?
What I’m trying to do, is I’m giving you the power to decide. What do YOU think about that phrase? We’re not talking about what most people think about that phrase, what do YOU think about it? Because if that phrase makes you feel uneasy or question things, there’s a possibility that something odd and weird is going on. You’re a grown man (or if you’re a woman, a grown woman) so, what do you think is going on? After all, if you doubt something, that’s not your signal to just push it to the side, there’s a reason why you have doubts. You need to address your doubts, and you need to meditate on it and maybe even research it. But don’t throw your doubts to the side just so you can fit in with Catholics. Your worldview matters, and you should be able to be your own person and not expect someone from your external world to innerstand you, cause only you can truly innerstand you.
So, what do you think that phrase means?
