Hmmmmm…sounds like quite the problem you have there.
So, here’s the deal, because people have the gift of Free Will, unfortunately there’s not much you can really do. Yes, we all want what is best for those we love, but unless someone is willing to change, there’s not a whole lot you can really do.
The best thing you can do for your Mother and her “girlfriend” is to pray for the both of them. Here’s the thing, we have to love everyone, but we do not have to like everyone, or in this case, we do not have to like a person’s sin. Here’s the thing, at the very least, show your Mother and her girlfriend respect. Cause they are a part of God’s Creation, and God never makes mistakes. So, at the very least show them respect. But, you don’t have to agree to their lifestyle. This is a choice your Mother and her “girlfriend” made. They didn’t have to choose to be together, they could’ve chosen to remain single. But they made the opposite choice.
So here’s what I would do. I would ask God to work on the hearts and minds of both your Mother and her “girlfriend.” But the biggest piece of advice I want to give you is, don’t try to change them, because if they’re not open to changing, they won’t change. Don’t bring up the fact that your Mother is going out with another woman, don’t tell her that she’s going to Hell (even if you mean well, cause there’s always a chance her and her “girlfriend” take what you say the wrong way). Don’t feel bad about not attending her wedding (if she plans on getting married). If for some reason she brings up about inviting you to her wedding, tell her in a calm but stern voice “I am not going to attend your wedding. My religion absolutely forbids it. Marriage was originally made to be between a Man and a Woman, and anything outside of that is not considered a valid marriage in the eyes of the Church.” If she gives you trouble, stand your ground. Tell her “I innerstand that your “girlfriend” is important to you, but God made Man and Woman. If God wanted a man to marry another man or a woman to marry another woman, than there would be certain men that’d have a uterus and there would be certain women that have a penis, but that’s not how God made men and women.” And if she keeps giving you a hard time, you say “You know what it is I believe, so please respect that!” And walk away and if you need to, go to your car and leave your house for a while.
Just pray, show both of them respect because they are huemans after all, and don’t be afraid to speak up if you need to. Your Mom and her “girlfriend” need to realize that just like they have the right to make these choices, you have the right to disagree. People who are LGBTQ+ usually equate acceptance with love. But, the truth of the matter is, acceptance doesn’t equal love. I can disagree with how someone chooses to live their life but still love them. And really, because I love them, I can look past that part of them and love who they are and not what they do. It’s called coexisting, something that a lot of people struggle with.
Gay people are not special, let’s get that out of the way. Gay people are just like straight people, we have to pull our pants up and zip them up. We have to put on a t-shirt or a shirt of some sort. And we have to pay taxes just like everyone else. Just because we are “gay” does not, in any way make us special, cause all it is is a sexual preference. And, it’s really a small part of who we are. It doesn’t completely define us, we’re more than just who we find attractive.
It’s my hope one day that, at the very least, your Mother and her “girlfriend” can come to terms with this and learn that just because they love eachother doesn’t mean everyone around them has to agree that they love eachother. After all, their community promotes loving people of all backgrounds and all walks of life, and if that’s the case then they should love you regardless if you agree with their choices or not.
-A gay man.