How do I handle my priest lying to me?

General
23

I think we need to give our Priests a little grace (especially if he is from another Country).

When I worked for a Hilton brand Hotel (owned by a large family from India) a guest who was staying with us while her home was being restored was upset that the hotel did not have flags put out for Memorial Day. So one of the owners purchased flags (probably from China) and lined the entrance to the hotel with them. One of these flags tipped over in the wind or perhaps while a car was driving by and this same lady saw this flag on the ground and became very upset. She brings the flag to the front desk where I was working and began screaming! Normally she was very pleasant towards me, but clearly this was something that she was very passionate about. Your story just reminded me of this incident.

Here are a few recommendation I can offer you and your Wife:

  • Attend a Memorial Day Mass of another Parish
  • If your own Parish has a Knights of Columbus, reach out to them and ask if they would be willing to plan a Memorial Day Liturgy with your Priest at your local Catholic Cemetery (as many members of the Knights are veterans and one of our four planks is patriotism)

I am not saying that your frustration is not warranted. I am, however, suggesting that not everyone shares the same tradition or passion that you do about this day of remembrance (either out of ignorance or indifference to put it bluntly). But, there are others who are equally as passionate and I am suggesting that you seek them out!

We have a Memorial Day Mass at the outdoor Altar at our Catholic Cemetery that the Knights of Columbus helped fund I believe.

Memorial Day Litrugy
Memorial Day Litrugy722×542 92.5 KB

1 Like
25

Cade,

Our Nigerian priest has been in our parish for 8 or 9 years. He has done very little to show that he is patriotic to the USA in any way. What is the saying about what to do when in Rome?

I’m one of the one’s that tries to speak well of him because I believe that he has a good heart.

Many that are older than me can’t wait for his next assignment.

As far as finding a new parish, that’s not gonna happen. I’m a founding member of this parish and I watched him come and I will watch him go and hope that we get a good American conservative priest, a rarity, that we can understand better next go around, but I’m not very hopeful.

When I think of giving our priest and our church, some slack on things, I think of Bishop Fulton Sheehan said back in 1972:

"Who is going to save our Church?

Not our bishops, not our priests and Religious.

It’s up to you, the people. You have the minds, the eyes, the ears to save the Church. Your mission is to see that your priests act like priests, your bishops act like bishops, and your Religious act like Religious."

Archbishop Fulton Sheen
Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa
1972

I think that as laity, we have been way too easy on our priests and bishops for many years.

JM2C
Ignatius

26

I’d like to propose that yourself and your parish community to look at your assigned priest as his Vocation, and not just another person in your parish. Yea, we receive priests in our parish, but we receive them according to their Vocation - as priests.

Maybe you can find this suggestion helpful. +

27

This is a very good point and thank you for the quote. Sheen has so many wise and insightful quotes. I’ve heard more than one priest in their homilies talk about how they (and priests) are human and how they’re sinners, etc. But in each case I interpreted that to also imply that they’re “just like us”. As in, we should “go easy” on them in that regard. I don’t agree. Priests should be held to a higher level of moral scrutiny. It goes with the vocation. Mack the mechanic down the street doesn’t claim to be God’s shepherd of any flock, ordained to lead people to Salvation.

28

I guess my concern about this particular case is this, Is patriotism or loyalty to a Country part of a Priest’s vocation? Genuinely asking.

29

Good question. I would second it.

Did German Catholic priests have a vocational obligation of patriotism or loyalty to Nazi Germany? In asking that rhetorical question I’m not drawing a parallel between Nazi Germany and the U.S. However, blind patriotism to any country is potentially dangerous.

Any institution that holds a position of power and influence over people, be it a government, corporation, academia, healthcare, etc or religion should not be exempt from scrutiny and in fact should be scrutinized to a greater degree than an individual. Vehicles of power and influence are undeniable havens for those who misuse and abuse said power.

1 Like
32

Cade,

Yes, a priest should show patriotism.

Another Nigerian priest in another local parish celebrates ALL patriotic holidays, especially Veteran’s Day.

He says that without veterans, we would not have the freedoms that we have in this country and there would be no Catholic Church or any church.

I sat next to a 7 year active duty Army soldier last night at a rodeo. He enlisted under Biden and said that he felt the lack of respect from him. He was up for reenlistment when Trump was elected and he decided to stay for another four years. He says that morale is significantly higher with President Trump in office than it was with Biden and now he may make it a career.

So, leadership matters whether it is our President or our Pope.

Ignatius

33

Giving the Nazi solute?

I know that you feel tied to the Parish you are at, but you might be more happy at this neighboring Parish. Or maybe as I have already suggested, on just on these patriotic celebratory days, attend the neighboring Parish.

I do not know why any man would want to enlist under President Biden nor under President Trump, but for different reasons:

President Biden tapped four-star admiral Richard “Rachel” Levine in charge of the Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health. A man who was mentally delusional. He thinks he is a woman and would sometimes wear dog masks! Under President Biden and uniformed Levine, the PHSCC influenced personnel in the Armed Forces to implement LGBTQA.i.+ policy guidelines, making a strong Military a weak Military at best and a joke at worst.

President Trump is continuing undeclared wars and starting new wars for the State of Israeli under false pretenses. I would not want my son to fight in any of these wars. But, President would rather call them “conflicts,” because it sanitizes the reality of these wars.

I get that you want a Priest who just follows orders. Isn’t that what the Military and the Priesthood is? Being subordinate? But, what happens when what is being asked of them becomes a moral dilemma?

It is not a moral dilemma for a Priest to celebrate secular holidays. But, I think forcing anyone to be patriotic towards any Country would be morally wrong.

The Bible says that we cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). When I recite the pledge of allegiance, I say, “I pledge allegiance to God, and I Pray for America, and for the Republic…”

I do believe that some have made an idol of the flag. And, at the same time, I also believe that trampling the values that the flag represents is also not good.

Maybe we should define what patriotism is. Is it a blind loyalty and obedience to anything a Country does under the banner or flag? Because it seems that this is what it is for many individuals. Is it pride (which is a sin) for a place where you reside or come from? Is it honoring the values “for which it stands”? Or a little bit of each of these? Or none of these? How do you define patriotism?