St. Paul (who was not Married) wrote the following in Corinthians 4:14-15, “I am writing you this not to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children. Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers, for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.”
There, we have the same message. “Forget about these family relationships, duties, etc. and recognize the structure of the real family, the eternal family.” Of course we can’t artificially jump to that position. But at least let us understand and agree, that the message of scripture, of Jesus, and of Paul, is that these mundane societal relationships catch all of us, but that the goal is beyond these temporal considerations. As we actually come closer to Jesus, in our hearts, this will not be a struggle. It will be a natural understanding. It doesn’t mean that we are bad or wrong to have these mundane attachments. It just means there is room for growth on our part.
Reading this again, I see that Paul is actually placing himself above the average priest, and saying, “put the aside and take shelter of me.” As the church recognizes Paul, let us follow suit. But how to do this when Paul is not walking among us? Our faith is that according to our sincerity, we are guided from within. Again, Jesus says “there is no approach to the Father but through me.” Is Paul now saying the same thing?
My speculation about the meaning of Matt. 23:9 is that it was directed against the practice of calling someone your spiritual father who is not your personal father. In the Scripture readings at Mass this week we heard about people who rejected Jesus as the Son of God and called Abraham their father. But what St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians seems to be an exception to that rule, so maybe the rule was not as strict as it sounds. As for earthly fathers, the New Testament calls many humans “father.” Matt. 4:21, for example, refers to Zebedee as the father of James and John. The Acts of the Apostles contains many references to human fathers. Jesus himself used the word “father” in, for example, the parable of the prodigal son and in saying that a father will not give a stone to a son who asks for an egg. So what does Matt. 23:9 prohibit and what does it allow? Maybe it prohibits only calling a man your spiritual father while rejecting the Son of the Father. I don’t know.
I think Jesus was pointing to God our Father as being above all others. I think Jesus was speaking in hyperbole to make a point. For Jesus also says in verse 10 not to call anyone “teacher” as well.
And Jesus was also saying that we are all called to serve one another no matter our social status (verse 12).
I am reminded of a Funeral Reception that I was attending for a dear lady. An Irish Priest, whom I did not know, demanded that I go get him a refill (or at least this is how it came off to me). He did not ask me to get him a refill, it was as if he expected it. Maybe this is an Irish thing or maybe it was a status thing, but it did bother me. I still got him his refill.