Baptism by grandma

Is a non-emergency baptism performed by a grandparent considered illicit or invalid? The parents aren’t religious and aren’t planning on baptizing their children and the grandma has talked about baptizing the baby surreptitiously.

Another scenario: A non-practicing Catholic who baptizes her children at the kitchen sink. No idea if the formula is correct but let’s say it is. Illicit or invalid?

The first is a current real life situation and different people are claiming different things, even referring to Canon Law but I don’t see it defined specifically there and the latter is a done deal.

On the First question, I am going to pass this one over to @CanadianPriest, as I am unsure.

On the Second question, I would say that a conditional Baptism would be in order, as we do not know if the validity of the kitchen-sink baptism.

Thank you for the questions!

(I am assuming that in the second case we are also not dealing with a danger of death situation. I also assume in both cases that the children are below the age of reason.)

As far as I can judge, in each of those cases, assuming that the correct matter and form were used and the person doing the work had the intention to baptize, it is valid, but illicit.

The bishop can authorize conditional baptism if and only if there remains a prudent doubt about fact or validity of baptism.

Although you are only asking about validity, I must add my own thoughts on why both of these are very bad ideas. After all, it would be horrible if my answer somehow inspired a grandparent to do something like this (and my comments will be especially directed toward grandparents).

First, to state the most obvious point, the question of validity is raised. It is not a good thing to have to even consider whether someone is or is not truly baptized. If Baptism is done by a priest in church with witnesses, there is an immensely greater likelihood (almost certainty) that there will be a valid Baptism celebrated. When a laywoman (who is not in the habit of baptizing) does something privately at home, she could easily say the wrong words, or make some other mistake a trained and practised priest would not only known not to do, but is formed by habit to not make those mistakes.

Second, liceity matters. If you are breaking the law of the Church, you are committing a sin. The fourth commandment tells us to honour father and mother. The Church is our mother. If you baptize an infant without authority to do so, you commit sin.

Third, your attempt to do something good for the child can backfire. When you are baptized Catholic, you become a citizen of the Church. And you are therefore bound by the laws of the Church. For example, you are bound by the marriage laws of the Church. So you may have baptized (for example) your grandchildren, but then those children grow up without a religious upbringing, have a wedding outside of canonical form, and are in invalid marriage (a marriage which would be valid if they were never baptized in the first place). And this is really bad, not because there aren’t remedies, but I know from pastoral experience that being in an irregular marital situation is one of the biggest obstacles to people becoming Catholic or returning to the Church. (There are other, more common ways in which sin could be increased, but I use this one because it is one most people would not think about. Suffice it to say that if you baptize your grandchildren, you place greater obligations on them even though you know they will not receive a religious upbringing to help them live out those obligations.)

Fourth, taking a more eschatological view of the situation, those who are baptized and are later lost to sin will suffer more than those who were never baptized. It is a sombre thought and I feel terrible even raising this possibility; but I also feel the need to disabuse people of the notion that they are doing something obviously good when they baptize their grandchildren illicitly. There are good reasons why the law of the Church says infants should only be baptized if there is a founded hope that they are raised in our religion.

Fourth, if the children are not going to have a religious upbringing as children, it might be better for grandparents to patiently wait until they are old enough to ask this for themselves. One of the benefits of Baptism is that it washes away not only sin but all the temporal punishment due to sin. Reconciliation does not get rid of all the temporal punishment and Baptism cannot be repeated. So, if they are not going to be raised in a religious household, but you evangelize them well, them may choose baptism as they get older and receive a remarkable cleansing of many years of sin they might not otherwise have had.

Thank you for your answers, Father. They confirmed what I remember from years ago; I didn’t have a personal reference then and you know how it is, once something affects you personally the details give rise to possible exceptions.

I knew the baptized would have an obligation to the Church’s laws but it wasn’t described in such a grave way. The grandma is a friend of my late mother’s but we stay in touch. I know she’s been counseled by her parish priest not to attempt a baptism but she struggles. I’m not sure I’m the one to share what you said so she might be more convinced but one never knows. Maybe she’ll ask me, then I might.

Peace to all,

Logically Baptism brings into the Catholic Church the Body sanctified from the Incorruptible Will of The Holy Spirit Family conceived fro Jesus through the flesh in the New Adam through the immortal life from the Immaculate flesh through The New Eve becoming in all mankind becoming for One Body in our own personal Christ in all mankind, two natures, spirit and life becoming flesh transformation in The New Eve through the Living Waters of Baptism from the spirit through the created souls of all for the created Flesh becoming immaculately immortal from the Powers of The Holy Family through flesh immortality from spirit incorruption becoming spirit and life sanctification for all in the New Eve to be able to become from death through life resurrection becoming again immortally glorified from Holy Spirit incorruption transfigured in One Family Body, I believe.

Both Mary and Jesus were Baptized to be able to become again glorified and transfigured from Sacrifice through Penance in the Christ becoming again in all One Holy Spirit Family One God in being, I believe. Jesus’s Pentecost was in the Jordan River from His Cousin Saint John the Baptist and why Saint John is the Greatest Born through born Baptism yet least in the Kingdom to come, I believe. Mary’s Pentecost was at the Annunciation “Yes Lord, Let it become not my will but Your Will be done to me,” from Angel Gabriel. Mary becomes the Immaculate Conception on the spot immortalized made incorruptible through a singular, special, spectacular Grace from Family Powers, through the New Eve and the “First Christ” on earth, in “The Mind of God becoming again in all One Family” OMNILogically, Mary was Baptized by Her Son Jesus bypassing death for Her Glorious Resurrection and Transfiguration and Assumption, I believe.

Saint John logically is the greatest born yet the least of those in Heaven in all generalization, because, Saint John The the Baptist is Born Baptized, immortal though the flesh from the Incorruptible Will from The Father sanctified in Immaculate Flesh sanctified from intrinsic Baptism through the soul of Saint John born spirtually incorruptible on earth not yet glorified and transfigured as even the least in Heaven will become again immortally glorified and incorruptibly transfigured becoming again in One Family, I believe. And we know Saint John is in The Holy Family today, I believe.

Without Baptism Jesus conceived through the Mind of God from Family Powers of Creation Virgin Born from the New Eve through immaculate flesh and incorruption in the Holy Spirit the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus as God would have remained alive on the cross forever, not being able to go from Baptized Death through Resurrection unable to become again immortally glorified and incorruptibly transfigured “re-imaged” in all becoming again in One Holy Spirit Family One God in being, I believe.

Peace always,
Stephen

I understand that you people go by the book. Rules, rules, rules. The Judaic clergy also asked Jesus what was the most important rule……….because their religious practices were all about rules. Why rules? Because they want to be rewarded by God both materially and spiritually. They are not thinking about simply loving God, our eternal Father in heaven. They are engaged in a business deal: “If I keep all the rules I will earn a reward.”

Scripture tells us that Jesus was born into that same Jewish faith. He even told the Jewish clergy that he didn’t come to change a letter of the law. “The law is good.”, Jesus told them. But the difference between Jesus and the Jewish law, is that Jesus came to give the next step in the Jewish religion. Jesus is still teaching the Jewish religion…..but he is giving the next step, the more mature step in how we approach God.
Therefore, when the Jewish clergy approached Jesus, just like our Bruised Reed is approaching us, asking about the importance of rules, Jesus told them that the most important rule is to love God with all of our heart. Why? Because what God wants from us, more than any mechanical observance of rules………is our love. Obedience is good. But love automatically includes obedience.

So the question may be posed, “If your child does something wrong in your household, because of lack of knowledge, but does it for you in a spirit of genuine love…….will you punish him, or forgive him, and embrace him to your heart?”
Therefore the proper answer to Reed’s question, is, “What is more important? Keeping the letter of the law……or the love of God with which we do things?” God is a person……not an AI machine.
Rules are there for the less intelligent. Just like the 10 commandments. “Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not covet……etc.” What kind of person needs to be told rules like those? Only a most uncivilized, animalistic person. Therefore Jesus is giving the next step in how we approach God…….the more refined, more mature step: “God wants our love.”

Therefore if the grandparent performs a baptism with a genuine spirit of love for God, with a heartfelt desire to bring the child closer to God, this is more meaningful to God than a baptism performed by a bishop or cardinal who is deficient in this way. Rules, rules, rules. Rules are for our guidance. They are not the goal of life. The goal of human life, Jesus says, is to love the Lord, our God with all of our heart.
Didn’t Jesus pick grain on the Sabbath when working through the fields? Didn’t he heal the sick on the sabbath? And the Jews accused him of breaking the law………… We have to be practical. Is Saint Peter is standing at the gate to heaven, with a clipboard in hand, writing down how many rules we have kept? Do we think of heaven as a military outpost…..or the realm of unlimited reciprocation of love between ourselves and God?

After all………what is baptism? Is it a mechanical function by which an object proceeds along a treadmill, and receives from a machine, an official stamp of certification? Or is this act of being cleansed by water symbolically referring to the cleansing of our hearts?
And what is that cleansing of our hearts? It is the acknowledgement that our lives are meant for devotion to God with every thought word and deed, and the embrace of that understanding. Without that genuine change of heart, what is the value of someone pouring water over our head? If a man engages in a marriage ceremony, because it is a rule, but actually has no love in his heart for the lady he is marrying……..what is the meaning of that ceremony? God is a person. The Supreme Person. And He wants our love. Jesus says that is the most important rule. Are we so preoccupied with our personal goals and objectives in life, that we take a moment to get baptized in passing, like getting an insurance policy? Or are we really embarking on a meaningful marriage with God?