I decided to delete the original text out of personal reasons
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What did the priest say, if you don’t mind telling us? My guess is that he would have said that being afraid is not a sin, and that going to Mass despite being afraid is good, but that you should not be afraid.
However, advising you not to be afraid will not, I think, relieve your anxiety. Maybe you could ask your parish to refer you to an appropriate counselor?
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Welcome, @BlueLion
I was taught to conclude the confession of sins during the Sacrament of Reconciliation with: “I’m sorry for these and all the sins of my past life.” I don’t know if they teach that any longer. The idea behind it is that I think we all hope that God isn’t a “bean counter” who would hold a person accountable for forgetting to confess something. I’m cringing at the thought now of God being a “bean counter”. That would be truly unfortunate and disappointing.
In your case you DID confess to your priest. The gravity of what you feel was a sin aside, if a person confessed some other type of sin with honest intention of disclosure but then remembered they unintentionally got the number/frequency wrong, I’m cringing at the thought of God punishing the person for their lack of exactness in the moment.
There’s a saying I heard many years ago that goes something like: “The Devil will tell you that committing a sin is no big deal, but if you do commit the sin, he’s also the one who will NEVER let you forget it.” Meaning, God forgives. Scruples are not from God. They can become such a problem for people that they prevent the person from living a happy and enjoyable life. If God would actually want a person to live an unhappy and unenjoyable life…triple cringe.
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@BlueLion I believe, from what you confessed and posted here in your posts that you have received a valid Absolution, if the sin you forgot to confess was not Mortal. But …
Intentionally withholding the confession of Mortal sin in Confession is much different than that of accidental or a forgotten sin to include during Confession.
And, the Church requires you to include the non-confessed Mortal sin in your next Confession. But it doesn’t invalidate your prior Absolution.
This is what Magisterium AI produced (according to Canon Law, 988)
You later realize you forgot a grave sin (or you think your Confession was incomplete)
If the real problem is that you forgot a grave sin (or didn’t examine carefully enough), the Church’s teaching is reassuring:
- If a confession seems defective because the penitent forgot some grievous sins, the penitent is not bound to repeat the whole confession; it is sufficient to confess the forgotten sins at a future occasion.
So if you realize later, “I think I left out a grave sin,” you should bring that sin up in your next confession, but you usually don’t need to treat the entire earlier Confession as null.
I recommend you consult with your Confessor the accuracy of what I quoted above. But it does say you should not have to include prior sins confessed, but only those you forgot or omitted from your prior Confession.
And please remember that the Church isn’t “policing” your prior prior confession, but rather is presenting Christ’s mercy. Christ’s mercy is not invalidating. It’s inclusive.
The ACCUSER, “the Evil One”, is the one who wants you to believe your Confession and Absolution is invalid, or that you’re really not forgiven. That’s what the Evil One does - trying to make you believe your sins are not forgiven and that you’re unworthy to receive the Eucharist.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been so troubled by those thoughts and feelings, @BlueLion
A wise priest once told me during Confession that “Discouragement does not come from God.” If God was in fact malevolent and sadistic, creating humans as pincushions to hurt and torture (including psychological torture), then many people, myself included would pass on wanting to go to Heaven. I’d have no respect for a God like that other than respecting his omnipotence for what it was (ie an omnipotent being can do whatever it wants and no amount of protest from a non-omnipotent being could change anything).
Within the confines of theology and the presumption that God is real, I’ve made peace with God in a way that I had not. I too suffered with Scruples during a period of my life, so I completely empathize with you and I know that such experiences can literally cause legitimate and lasting psychological trauma. I will never forget an instance years ago where I was reclining on my couch one evening and for whatever reason my thoughts drifted to a certain period of my past life. In recounting prior sins (according to the Church) I realized there was a specific mortal sin that I had never confessed. I can’t describe the level of utter fear I was gripped with. It was so strong, and the resultant panic attack so severe, that I could have mistaken it for a heart attack.
Reflecting on experiences like that later in my life I decided to make peace and accept rather than continue to live in fear. The peace I made was a belief that IF at my judgement I found out that God was in fact a “bean counter” and damned me to Hell based on a technical matter that I was not aware of, then it is what it is. There’s nothing I could do about it. Point being, if I live my life as best I can in ways that I believe God wants of me and I find out in the end God damns me for not "dotting an “i” or crossing a “t”, then that’s God’s decision as an Omnipotent being who makes the rules. I’d have zero input or ability to reverse God’s decision. As such, even worrying about that scenario is completely pointless.
I’ve coined the phrase in relation to this: “Est quod est.” (it is what it is). I’m not proposing you do the same. I’m sharing my own experience on what liberated me and brought me peace in contrast to incredibly strong and damaging Scruples that affected all aspects of my life.
An observation I have that seems common in Christianity which of course includes Catholicism is a complete removal of onus on God. With Jesus as the “New Covenant”, remember a Covenant is a “formal and binding agreement”. An agreement needs two parties. Both parties must promise and agree. If God was found, unbeknownst to humans to switch things up at the time of judgement, God would be disingenuous and would be breaking the Covenant and wouldn’t be worthy of respect.