# Which is harder: Forgiving others or Asking for forgiveness? **URL:** \ **Category:** Catholic Living\ **Created:** [November 21, 2025, 2:53pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896 "2025-11-21T14:53:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cade\_One](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/cade_one/32/34_2.png) [@Cade\_One](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Cade_One)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2025, 2:53pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/1 "2025-11-21T14:53:01Z")
**Which is harder for you?** _Poll ([view on site](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/1))_ ---
**Author:** ![Literalman](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/literalman/32/117_2.png) [@Literalman](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Literalman)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2025, 10:02pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/2 "2025-11-21T22:02:27Z")
Do you mean forgiving others who have said they’re sorry or forgiving others who are not sorry? ---
**Author:** ![EarthsStudent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@EarthsStudent](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/EarthsStudent)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 7:55am UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/3 "2025-11-22T07:55:56Z")
My Dad…I have a hard time trying to forgive him. ---
**Author:** ![Cade\_One](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/cade_one/32/34_2.png) [@Cade\_One](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Cade_One)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2025, 7:44pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/4 "2025-11-24T19:44:46Z")
This was just a question that came up at last Week’s men’s Bible Study and I thought it would be a good conversation starter here on the forum. I personally forgive very easily, it doesn’t mean that I therefore trust the individual, but I do not hold any ill-will towards them in my heart. I have more trouble asking for forgiveness and admitting I was wrong. I will over further reflection, but in the moment being accused I deflect. Other men in our group are easily angered and annoyed by others, which makes it harder for them to forgive. We are all different, which makes questions like these kind of fun. ---
**Author:** ![SorrowfulBVM](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/sorrowfulbvm/32/766_2.png) [@SorrowfulBVM](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/SorrowfulBVM)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2025, 2:11am UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/5 "2025-11-25T02:11:09Z")
I choose to forgive others, but I bring it up so many times in my mind that I wonder, “Did I actually forgive them?“ I’m still getting angry over an abuse from 2010 & 2003. Both events were traumatic, but I hope one day I will not get angry any more. We’re only human. ---
**Author:** ![Cade\_One](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/cade_one/32/34_2.png) [@Cade\_One](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Cade_One)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2025, 2:22pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/6 "2025-11-25T14:22:42Z")
I would say, Pray for these individuals. Often when we Pray for others, it changes us (for the better). ---
**Author:** ![brunohusker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@brunohusker](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/brunohusker)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2026, 2:19pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/7 "2026-01-16T14:19:46Z")
For me its forgiving others because in my experience, a lot of people aren’t truly sorry when they are do something bad. They are sorry the got caught. ---
**Author:** ![Isabel\_Dee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4da419/32.png) [@Isabel\_Dee](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Isabel_Dee)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2026, 9:22pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/8 "2026-01-18T21:22:15Z")
I don’t find it too difficult to ask for forgiveness because if I don’t ask, I feel tormented by guilt. But I can find myself with bitter thoughts and grudges when someone has gone out of his/her way to hurt me, and they hold to this opinion. If they say sorry, I can forgive fairly easily - and if they don’t, it can take years before my feelings die down. I wish it were not so, and I didn’t get so upset, angry or resentful, and of course I do try. But I am giving an honest answer. ---
**Author:** ![Cade\_One](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/cade_one/32/34_2.png) [@Cade\_One](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Cade_One)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2026, 5:40pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/9 "2026-01-19T17:40:16Z")
> [@Isabel\_Dee](#): > > If they say sorry, I can forgive fairly easily - and if they don’t, it can take years before my feelings die down. I was just listening to the _Pints with Aquinas_ Podcast on my lunch break and Matt Fradd and Christopher West were talking about this very topic. West brought up paragraph 2843 of the Catechism, which beautifully says, “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory.” Just wanted to share this with you. Have a Blessed day : ) ---
**Author:** ![Literalman](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forum.catholictalk.net/literalman/32/117_2.png) [@Literalman](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/Literalman)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2026, 2:36pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/10 "2026-01-20T14:36:59Z")
> [@Isabel\_Dee](#): > > I am giving an honest answer Thank you. It’s what we need from each other here. I believe that we all struggle with various things, and I think that forgiveness can be one of the hardest things we have to do. Pat answers wouldn’t help. ---
**Author:** ![saved2021](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@saved2021](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/saved2021)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2026, 8:22pm UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/11 "2026-01-26T20:22:19Z")
I have learned to forgive others. I’m finding it hard to forgive myself for the pain I have cause others. ---
**Author:** ![CristoRei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@CristoRei](https://forum.catholictalk.net/u/CristoRei)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2026, 9:33am UTC](https://forum.catholictalk.net/t/which-is-harder-forgiving-others-or-asking-for-forgiveness/2896/12 "2026-02-11T09:33:26Z")
Over time I’ve learnt to forgive others, that means not to hold any resentment as that eats away at the soul. Asking for forgiveness from God through a priest in confession has always felt easy for me. It’s a little harder to ask it from a friend, one must purge themselves from pride in order to admit you were wrong and be sorry about it. Pride cannot be underestimated, it is Satan’s favourite sin. The hardest thing to do is forgive someone when they haven’t asked for forgiveness, when they haven’t apologised, when they still think they did nothing wrong. That’s the hardest type of forgiveness for me. God bless